-Six Years Ago-
I kept walking through different streets, but none of them led me to the familiar path. Every time I turned, it felt like I was getting more lost. I was anxious. The last thing I wanted was to get lost in the streets of a foreign country. In fact, getting lost wasn't even on my list of things I dreaded. "Come on, just remember the way back," I kept scolding myself. I needed to find my way back soon.
I was hungry and thirsty. The weather was hot and suffocating. I hadn't felt this stifled even in my own city. I turned into another alley and looked at the people flowing past me. Their skin tones were darker than mine, and I could see in their eyes that they knew I was lost. When I tried asking people for directions in English, most of them didn't understand me.
"Come on, I'm just asking for the address of my hotel. Haven't you heard of it before?"
I turned around and walked in the opposite direction. I moved a bit further. No matter how hard I tried to recall, I couldn't remember. My panic had erased everything from my mind.
Today we were given some free time, and I just wanted to spend it exploring the surroundings and getting a few necessities. I didn't expect it to turn out like this. Why was everything so confusing here? Normally, even if I went to unfamiliar places, I would somehow find my way back.
But here, no one spoke my language or even English. Ah, I was going crazy! As I walked among the shops and people, the bag I was holding felt increasingly heavier. I needed to calm down. This was all due to my fear. There was nothing to be afraid of. All I needed to do was find a police officer, tell them I was lost, and get back to the hotel.
The noise was growing. The sounds of people shopping mixed with the noise of motorcycles. If this were in Turkey, I might have enjoyed it, but my anxiety was consuming me. I steeled my legs and clenched my fists, trying to believe in myself. I had to find a police officer or an official.
I kept walking. I tried asking someone where the police station was. The man sized me up, rubbed his chin, and smiled. He agreed to help, and I started following him. Finally, someone was willing to help me. I felt a bit relieved. We turned into an alley between shops. As I looked around, the street started to get quieter. He must have been taking me on a shortcut, right?
We turned into another alley. There were a few men around, and I could instantly recognize them anywhere. They looked like criminals. The man kept checking to see if I was still behind him and reassured me. "Not much further, just a bit more," he said. I nodded and responded in English, "Thank you so much."
As we went further, the men who looked like criminals began to surround us. I frowned. I moved my bag to my front and clutched it tightly to my arms. I was scared. Unconsciously, I moved closer to the man, but he suddenly turned and confronted me. "How much money do you have? Give me all of it!" He lunged at me, and I was taken aback. I had been deceived.
So, there wasn't a single good person in the world. How did I get myself into this situation?
As I started to move away, the man reached out to grab me. But instead of me, his hand grabbed my bag. "Help!" My voice was weak from fear. The man smiled more broadly. As the men I suspected of being criminals surrounded us, I turned to run, only to bump into someone behind me. Two hands grabbed my shoulders, and I screamed. As I tried to break free, I heard a voice. "Are you okay? Just follow me now!"
I turned my head and saw the photographer boy, taller than me by a head, and the feeling of safety I felt made me want to cry. "We found that girl! Her money is our money!" The man approached us. I realized then that all they wanted was my money.
"Who says so? The girl is mine!" The man laughed angrily. Neither the men nor the photographer spoke fluent English, but they used short phrases that were easy to understand. "Do we need to beat you up to knock some sense into you?" I looked at the photographer. He stood confidently. "Why don't you try it?" he taunted. What was he trying to do? There were so many men around us; how could he deal with all of them?
The man approached quickly and swung his fist. But the photographer skillfully dodged it and made sure I stayed behind him. He landed his punch on the man's face, taking advantage of his opening. I heard the sound of bone hitting bone. The man stumbled back. The photographer gave me a quick glance. As he punched the man, the others started to move toward us. "You son of a bitch!" the man roared in English.
He grabbed my free hand and started running. As we ran through the alley with men shouting behind us, I didn't know how much longer my trembling legs could hold out.
"Just hold on a bit longer. We'll be safe once we reach the main street,"
His voice and the tears streaming down my face offered some comfort. "Don't run! Come here, quickly!"
A few men were still chasing us as we reached the main street. He pushed me through the back door of a shop, and I didn't even have time to think about where we were. The people working inside started shouting at us. It was the kitchen of a food shop. "We're sorry, we'll leave soon. Sorry."
He held my hand tightly and led us out of the kitchen. We finally reached the front of the shop. We hurried out, still hearing a few shouts behind us. Were those men still chasing us? Why did he have to punch that man? Couldn't we have just run away?
Why had I ended up in such a bizarre day?
As we moved through the crowd, we heard a shout. "There they are! Quickly, follow them!" They were still chasing us. We pushed through the crowd, receiving strange looks. He led us into another shop, this one a clothing store. The aisles were different from those in Turkey, and he moved quickly to the back. How did he know this place so well if he had never been here before?
No, no, I shouldn't be worrying about that now. Those men were still after us. As the store owner approached us, he grabbed a few clothes from a rack and showed them to the woman. "Where can we try these on?"
The woman, startled, pointed to the fitting rooms. He bowed his head and thanked her as we headed to the fitting rooms. When he moved to pull the curtain, the woman shouted. "Only one person can go into the fitting rooms!" The photographer turned to her. "I'm sorry, my wife is very shy and doesn't want to be alone, so we do this everywhere we go. Sorry,"
The woman's dark skin flushed. But it wasn't just her; even my skin started to burn. How could he refer to me as his wife? We quickly entered the fitting room. As he closed the curtain, I leaned against the wall, panting. I was too embarrassed to look at him as tears streamed down my face. "Are you okay?"
That question was so silly. "How... how can you ask if I'm okay after everything that just happened?" My voice was suddenly loud. I took another breath and started again. "How can you ask if I'm okay after all this?" I covered my face with my hands. My lungs still ached from running. "I'm sorry..." His sad voice reached me. I looked up at him. Tears had already started to fall from my eyes. As I looked up, he held his camera, which I hadn't seen in a long time, and took a picture of me. I got angrier. "How? How can you take a photo in this situation?" As I cried more, I started wiping my tears.
He reached out and wiped a tear from my cheek with his finger. "I always..." His sentence was cut off. The men had entered and were asking questions. The woman shouted at them. The photographer peeked out from behind the curtain. "They're here-" He covered my mouth with his hand. "Quiet. Those men are here. I think they're asking about us."
"Now they're arguing with the shop owner, and she's chasing them out. I think we're safe." As I tried to exhale calmly, I remembered his hand over my mouth. When I tried to hold myself back, he turned to me. Only then did he realize what he was doing. He immediately pulled back, and I lowered my head in embarrassment. He was really... really brave. "Can we leave now?"
He opened the curtain and checked outside. "Yes, we can leave." He went out first. I stayed inside a bit longer. My heart was filled with many emotions. Which one should I deal with? I felt like I was going to die in every possible way.
"Derin?"
He called to me as he parted the curtain and looked at me. I nodded. "Let's go," I grabbed his hand on instinct, feeling both incredibly shy and knowing how much that hand had protected me. I held onto it as we walked out of the shop. He returned the clothes we had taken to the woman, apologized, and we left the shop. He carefully observed our surroundings.
Once he was sure we were safe, we started walking.
I quietly held his hand and followed him. I felt like a little girl who, after getting lost, had finally reunited with her family. "What were you thinking when you followed that man?" His voice was angry. I didn't even want to think about it. "Do you know what could have happened if I hadn't seen you then?"
I stayed silent. I squeezed his hand. If he hadn't been there, something much worse could have happened to me. He stopped walking. "You?" I looked up at him fearfully. Tears started welling up in my eyes again. "You... You always make me feel so many different emotions!" His words confused me even more. Why was he saying these things to me?
"You really... always make me want to stay by your side and protect you!"
What he felt was probably due to the incident earlier. He couldn't speak this way to someone he had just met. "Derin!" He called to me in a warning tone again. I finally opened my mouth and spoke with a trembling voice. "I... How could I have known? I was lost! I asked that man where the police station was. I couldn't have known this would happen."
I couldn't even look at him as tears streamed down my face. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't know this would happen." My crying intensified. My tears silently dripped onto the ground. "Oh! Really..."
"Look at me, Derin." He called to me, but I couldn't find the courage to meet his gaze. "Look at me, Derin!" His voice was stern, like he was scolding a little girl. It took me a moment to finally look at him. When I did, his camera made the sound of another photo being taken. I opened my mouth to scold him. "Don't apologize to me. You should apologize to yourself. In such situations, you should only speak to shop owners."
How could he change the subject like this? "I told you! How could I have known this would happen? I was so scared. So scared!" He let his camera rest against his chest again. He took a few steps closer to me, and although he didn't hug me, he placed his hand on my back and patted it. "It's over now. You can relax," I nodded, trying to stop crying.
"Thank you for saving me from there."
I took a step back to distance myself from him. I felt better now with the sense of security he provided. "Do you want some water?" I nodded. We were still holding hands. He took a bottle of water out of his bag and handed it to me.
Without thinking, I took it and started drinking. As it quenched my dry mouth, he started talking. "I drank from that water earlier, but I guess that's not a problem for you."
I stopped drinking as soon as he finished speaking. After a brief coughing fit, I scolded him. "Was it yours? Why didn't you say so from the beginning?" I looked at him and the bottle, realizing I had done something I had never done before: drank from someone else's bottle. It felt disgusting.
"I'm just kidding. I never used it."
As he smiled again, I knew he was trying to make me feel better. "Are you hungry? I can take you to a new place I discovered." As we walked, I looked at him, my gaze filled with admiration. It was the best thing I had heard since the water. Was he reading my mind? He squeezed my hand a bit more.
We continued walking and soon arrived at the place he mentioned. It was a small food shop offering local dishes. We sat down, and after a brief chat with the man who came to take our order, the man went inside to prepare our food. My legs were trembling from exhaustion. I felt much better now.
"Do you remember the way back?" I asked him this question with doubt. Did he remember? We had run so much and might have gotten even further from the hotel. A tense smile appeared on his face. "Well... actually, I got lost too. But don't worry, if we wander around a bit more, I'll remember where we are."
I looked at him in shock. This boy, seriously! "How can you be so calm despite being lost too?"
"I'm calm because when you're lost, you see the truly beautiful things. That's when you truly learn about yourself. That's when you notice new things. And those are the most important reasons for me. Sometimes, I intentionally get lost, but by the end of the day, I return home having experienced more than my normal life."
I had never thought of it that way. While trying to find my way, I hadn't looked around at all. All I thought about was getting back to the hotel as soon as possible. And especially after following that man and experiencing what I did, I thought I would never be able to go back. Especially now, I didn't notice anything.
But this sentence made me unintentionally remember my previous life. Maybe I had lost many things in my life because of this. I missed the beautiful moments of my life. Since I got caught up in the fast pace of life and joined the people rushing around, the photographer made me realize how little my life had changed.
He had appeared, isolated from everyone, while I was struggling to live among all those people. For him, it didn't matter where or how he was. The important thing was adding something new to himself. His personality differed from others.
I couldn't hide the words that unintentionally came out of my mouth any longer. I wanted him to hear what I thought about him. "How can you be so different? Every time I talk to you, you surprise me more than the last time." That was really true. He always surprised me, and I approached him with prejudice, but each time he caught me off guard with his thoughts and made me question myself. That's why I had made a decision now. I wouldn't approach him with prejudice anymore. I believed he was different from everyone I knew.
"Being different isn't bad. It makes you more curious about discovering new things and learning more about them."
I frowned. Despite everything that had happened today, he was incredibly calm, even trying to change my way of thinking. Wasn't this sentence a bit daring? I began to wonder if he wanted me to learn more about him out of curiosity. Or were his words from the beginning because he was interested in me? No, that was impossible. I was sure there was a misunderstanding.
When the man brought us our food, I quietly ate, unable to stop thinking about him. And as he said, I couldn't extinguish my curiosity about him.
He helped me a bit with the meal as I finished the last bite. When we were done eating, we got up to leave, and he went to pay the bill, showing the classic gentleman behavior. To escape the stuffy restaurant, I went outside to wait for him. When he finally came to me, he started talking excitedly.
"Yes, now there's only one thing left." He showed the ice creams in his hand, and my excitement rose again. Today, he had comforted me greatly. He had been there when I needed him and really protected me. "Thank you..."
He nodded. "Eat it before it melts." We walked around eating our ice creams. As the sun started to set, the weather cooled down a bit, and my worry increased. We had been out for hours, and they might have started worrying about us.
"Can we go back now?"
"I'll remember the hotel's location soon. So just be patient for a bit longer."
I could trust him in this situation. As we moved out of the crowded streets into green areas, I was amazed. These places were beautiful and perfect for resting. Many people were sitting under the shade of trees, and I was eager to sit too.
"Let's rest here for a bit. It'll be good for you too. You can continue taking pictures."
He looked at me and smiled. I was actually teasing him a bit. He seemed to overdo the photo-taking. I threw myself under a tree and leaned back. He sat down next to me, and I noticed him taking a deep breath. Today had been a tough day for both of us. But I wondered how long he had wandered before finding me. He exhausted himself so much to see new things that you could only see his fatigue when he sat down.
"This place is beautiful. Coming here was a great favor to myself."
As he muttered to himself, it was clear from his gaze that he really loved this place. The sparkle in his eyes was unmistakable. For a moment, I debated whether to respond or not. But the silence was too unnerving, so I let my voice reach him.
"I could never live here. It's too hot and underdeveloped."
"I've seen places worse than this. Believe me, it's fine."
A brief silence fell between us. I was so tired that besides my physical exhaustion, my soul was even more weary. I wished I could sleep a bit. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes to rest. But I didn't know that I would start dreaming as soon as I did. When I realized it, I was woken up by a noise that pulled me out of my light sleep. I lifted my head and tried to understand the source of the noise with sleepy eyes.
There had been a car accident nearby. It didn't look too severe, but the owners of the two cars were arguing.
As the sun held its last rays over the world, I fully woke up, realizing the weight on my knees. At first, I thought my legs were numb from sitting, but that wasn't it. The head resting on my knee made me
try not to react suddenly.
The photographer had fallen asleep too. He had laid his head on my knees, finding a comfortable spot. When I remembered lifting my head from where it rested, I realized I had probably fallen asleep on his shoulder too. Thinking about how we had stayed like this the whole time was embarrassing. I moved to wake him up, but he hadn't been affected even by the earlier noise, so he must have been very tired.
The thought of "check the camera" immediately came to mind, and I looked around. It was right under his hand, and his big hands were tightly holding it. I then noticed our bags were still in place and let out a deep breath. The fact that the camera was still there made me happier than anything. Even though it wasn't important to me, the camera meant everything to him.
After a while, the crowd dispersed with the arrival of the police, and I gently nudged him to relieve my numb legs. "Hey... wake up..."
He woke up shortly and realized the situation, quickly pulling away. He rubbed his eyes and turned his back to me for a moment. After fixing his hair and composing himself, he turned to me.
"I fell asleep. And on your lap. Embarrassing."
He looked at me with his swollen eyes, and I was just as embarrassed. I couldn't be angry with him about this. After all, I had leaned on his shoulder. This was really embarrassing. Inside, a part of me was running around, screaming because of what he had done. I suppressed the screams because this couldn't continue forever. I wanted to go to a hotel. I stood up from where I was sitting and saw the jacket covering my legs for the first time. As I picked it up, many thoughts crossed my mind. His gesture of covering my legs to prevent any exposure warmed my heart. To hide the emotions reflected on my face, I bit the inside of my lips. I cleaned the jacket and handed it to him, a small "Thank you," escaping from my lips.
He smiled and took the jacket from me as he stood up. But his face only showed a smile, as if something had been bothering him. Then silence fell between us again. We started walking to return to the hotel.