RABBLE ROUSER
Chapter 1
The Last Straw
"Even if the world turns into an apocalypse, I'll be the one smiling in the end."
Sometimes, the lessons life wants to teach us just don't fit into our heads. While we insist on doing things our own way, we come across letters we've never seen before. As a nineteen-year-old girl, or should I say, as the Apocalypse Pony, here's what I can tell you.
"Even if the world turns into a battleground of the apocalypse, I'll be the one smiling in the end."
But, I also have to say this...
"You gotta read your own mind, ignoring everyone else bravely. But, it doesn’t hurt to learn something new sometimes."
Everything started with everyone's patience overflowing because of me...
With my unyielding personality, I was noticeable everywhere and managed to upset everyone. The thing is, I have a phobia of problems. So, instead of confronting issues with a scream, I'd rather silence them with lies, covering them up with roles I played effortlessly, whether pulling tricks out of my pocket or my kidney.
While looking at my clasped hands, I repeated in the most regretful tone I had. A desire to turn back time and escape the pain was swirling on my face.
I was acting.
I lowered my neck with the timidity of a young deer to my hunter, appearing resigned to my fate in his hands.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Principal."
He struggled to soften his gaze and did everything to not believe me. But eventually, he would kneel to my emotional manipulation, as it always had been.
I'm really good at this. If there's a rival, I beat them in one go. If society is built on lies, then I'm the master of it.
The master of lies, the top trickster, Ayça Anday.
Then, as if he sifted through my record in front of him, he remembered the past. As if by admitting my wrongdoing, I had given him more reason to lecture me. He lifted his balding head from the computer, his patience worn thin, gritting his teeth as if barely holding himself back.
"I just can't understand you, girl. What exactly are you trying to do?"
I lifted my head, wanting to explain myself. It's as if everything was perfect in its rosy-pinkness before I ruined it. Sorry, but you could have found out our school was a devil's lair just by googling its name. Was I the only one to blame?
Now that I remember, I was the one who wrote that review. Right, I'm proud of myself once again.
I tried to win him over with a pitiful expression. "Sir, I just wanted to make a joke."
The Principal stopped, having heard this defense from me countless times. He might have believed me this time. Just as I was about to rejoice, my smile froze halfway. The Principal yelled so loud I thought thunder had ordered room service. It was a tremendous noise, just for the Principal's office.
"How does a joke lead to your friend falling out of the window!"
After flinching in fear, I dropped the act. I opened my clasped hands and switched to chill mode. Was I here because that dummy fell out of the window? I didn't know getting a scolding in the Principal's office was for this. I didn't push him!
"That was his own stupidity, sir. You can't blame me for that. I swear I didn't push him, nor did I say to jump."
When he yelled "Quiet!" I flinched again. Immediately, I straightened up, dropping any pretense of relaxation. This time it seemed serious. I've been a girl all my life, but I've never been "quieted" like this.
"I'm calling your parents," he threatened - I hope it was a threat - and my lips started to tremble. As tears welled up in my eyes, I looked at him pitifully. The "poor me, an orphan" show had started.
"You have my sympathy, sir. After my mom died of cancer, my dad couldn't bear the sorrow and died of grief."
As soon as I finished, he jumped in, "Weren't both of them supposed to have died in a car accident?" Caught in my lie, the Principal's eyes almost sparkled. He had cornered me. I pondered which lie to tell next. The Principal, thinking I wouldn't come up with anything, prepared his victory smile.
But I could find a lie even if it was in outer space. I'd go to Mars to fetch it, checking for water while at it. If lying cost money, I'd take out a loan to say it.
In the end, it's a fun activity.
When I found what I was looking for, I was about to rejoice but quickly composed myself, draping my face with the sorrow of my tragic life.
"The fact that my dad, without considering me, left this world due to the pain of losing my mom affected me deeply. Imagine, your dad doesn't even fight to live for your sake. I was ashamed and told you that, Principal."
The Principal looked at me for a few seconds. Just looked. His heart wasn't ready to believe, but his mind nudged him to pretend to believe just to get rid of me quicker.
"Regardless, starting fights in school-"
I lunged towards his desk. "A complete lie, utterly false. If I ever raised my hand to someone, well, I might as well not be here."
Truth has this annoying habit of coming to light. If it doesn't this time, I'd force it out. I haven't told the truth in years; I might even be rusty.
The Principal signaled with his eyes for me to take my usual minus points. "You were the one inciting everyone to fight."
I deny this because it was true. A guilty person is always accompanied by a devil until they confess.
"That's a terrible slander, sir."
The Principal leaned back in his plastic chair behind his broad desk, the kind they put outside in the cafeteria. He started speaking calmly.
"You already had a disciplinary penalty." Probably when I sold exam answers for money. Or was it when I organized fights in the gym? I should think about that later.
"We're halfway through the year, and we were quiet because you're supposed to graduate. But this was the last straw. You're no longer a student here, and whether you can be a student elsewhere is doubtful."
The joy in his statement was worth seeing. But I wished I were blind. A strange peace, as if mystical forces were soothing him. His hair might even turn green with rejuvenation.
What kind of relief was that? Excuse me, but I can't be expelled from school. After all I've endured, I can't be kicked out in my final year. I switched to begging mode, a radical decision for my symphony of pleas. I immediately got to work.
"Sir, I beg of you, don't do this. It's my last year, school's almost over. Just because of one joke. Isn't this punishment too harsh?"
The Principal stood up, raising his hand and yelling. "One joke? Ha!" For a moment, I grimaced at his words. Such language did not suit a school principal. Realizing what he had said
, he corrected himself.
"Ah, my girl, I'm the principal sitting in this chair. Why? Because you drilled it like turning my chair into a toilet."
That was a bad example. I pressed my lips tightly together, struggling not to laugh. Why hadn't he bought a new chair yet? I took a deep breath, promising myself I wouldn't laugh. That would definitely be the end of me.
Making a big hole in the Principal's chair and turning it into a toilet... Ayça, you've approached this with philosophical thoughts. You were trying to tell the students about their lives.
Practically a free art project.
"Sir, I did that at the beginning of the year. Didn't you get a new one?" I asked, hoping to turn the situation into a casual conversation. Maybe he'd forget about expelling me if we chatted. Perhaps he'd change his mind.
"Get out, girl, get out! I'm going to talk to Göktuğ Bey."
Guess he didn't forget. Göktuğ uncle was no big deal, honey; we're partners. He'd cover this up, and I'd charm him with my cuteness. But I wondered, was he saying I was expelled because he was still trying to discipline me? Or was it because he couldn't be bothered with me now that I was expelled?
With a positively charming smile, I asked.
"So, I'm not expelled?"
The Principal's gaze was fixed, ready to erupt at any moment.
"Get out!"
That wasn't very clarifying. I tried my luck again to find out. "So, it's like I'm expelled?" Before I angered him further, I backed away and left the room. The Principal was still yelling as I exited.
"Get out! Leave! God, don't even give this girl to my enemy."
As soon as I left, I ended my role as the good student. He talked behind my back, so I did the same. Once the door closed, I raised my hand and started swearing.
"Look at the fits the Principal's throwing. Just because a couple of dudes fought, he's scolding me. Let them drop dead, what do I care! What do you know about jokes and fun?"
It was a unique relief session. I vented my inner anger. Just as I was about to turn back and head to class, I ran into two groups lined up at the Principal's door, clearly having heard me. Their expressions made it obvious. Swallowing hard, I tried to soften my previous words with a forced smile, but I knew it was too late.
"Hey, a few dudes!" My steps found their rhythm, and I started to move away without showing it. When they started to approach me, I knew I had to run.
"I'll just slip away."
Then I began running down the corridor. Either I'd run till I dropped dead or I'd get beaten up. Looking back at about ten students chasing me, their clothes torn and faces marked by the fight, they were following me with anger.
As if I had found a secret passage to heaven and they were following me. That was too much zeal.
Though I noticed the fire alarm and emergency pull, I didn't touch it. They'd definitely expel me then. Shouting in the corridor to bring the teachers out seemed like the best idea. But then, I'd just be increasing my votes in the discipline committee against me. None of them liked me anyway.
As I passed the duty student, I grabbed the class registers he was carrying and threw them one by one behind me to stop my pursuers. It was either escape or death! Because these dishonorable folks say, 'charge, charge'!
***
"They expelled you from school!"
My dad yelled even before he had pulled the house key from his pocket. Bad news travels fast, and anything malicious or malicious spreads instantly. I wouldn't have allowed him to find out so quickly.
I had thought it couldn't be real. I struggled to sit up from the couch where I lay in shock. But I couldn't spring up angrily. If I had been beaten, it was thoroughly. It was hard to even move my bones; I was in pain.
"Really? You're not joking, are you?" I said as I tossed the blanket aside and put the remote next to me. Leaning towards the corridor to look at my dad, he entered the living room without taking off his jacket.
"Do I look like I'm joking to you?" he replied, implying his anger.
I rolled my eyes. It seemed a long public address was about to begin. "Did you just make a sarcastic comment?" I leaned back immediately. They couldn't have really expelled me, could they? That's so heartless. Besides, the system would kick me out in six or seven months anyway. Did they really have to do it beforehand?
My dad angrily demanded an explanation. "You started a fight."
I looked up at him. It wasn't the first time; it was almost a routine we were used to. Was he making such a big deal out of it because I got expelled this time? I defended myself, but surely they hadn't expelled me, had they? Why would they?
"That's a total lie. The accusation that I instigated it is pure slander, dad. Really, that's my defense, Mr. Lawyer."
He dismissively pointed at my face with the tip of his finger, encompassing my bruised and battered appearance in his imaginary circle.
"What happened to your face?"
Unable to contain myself due to the pain still fresh on me, I passionately explained. I felt sorry for myself; I thought they couldn't catch me.
"Man, they beat me up so bad, dad. Right after I left the Principal's office, they started chasing me. They caught me at the school exit and beat me all the way to the school gate. Thankfully, I shouted 'no to violence against women,' and they ran away, scared of being lynched."
My dad wasn't particularly interested in my adventure or action. He rubbed his palms against his face, taking a deep breath, then stopped standing over me and sat on the coffee table in front of the couch.
"Let's talk seriously. Turn off the TV."
Excited and mischievous, I turned off the TV with the remote next to me. I dangled my legs and turned to face him. I've always loved the dramatic and emotional speeches on TV. The parts where they give advice with a misty voice, weighing life's values.
"Ooh, emotional talks," I said, sitting up eagerly, ready to listen.
"Daughter, why do you do this, why are you like this?"
Why does everyone ask me this? Skipping this question... When will they stop asking? I wasn't doing anything; this was just who I was.
Tears welled up in my eyes, and my voice trembled as I put on a "poor me, an orphan" act for my dad.
"After mom died, I couldn't pull myself together, dad."
Before I even got halfway through my sob story, he smacked me on the head. "Stop it, you were the same shit even before your mom died."
I had long accepted and gotten used to him raising me with slaps and hits, thinking of me more as a son than a daughter. But there was something I couldn't understand. I spread my arms and rose
in protest.
"So, where's the emotional talk in this!"
My dad put his police gun on the table and began to explain. "Göktuğ said you always tell your principal that your dad died."
If Göktuğ uncle had ratted me out, it was game over. We were supposed to have each other's backs. Well, he never ratted me out. He even knew the janitor's name, while my dad never once visited the high school. Göktuğ uncle was my only ally. Putting aside my shattered trust, I brushed off my dad's expectation for an explanation.
This really might be the end. They must have expelled me from school. I felt down.
I slumped back on the couch, losing my enthusiasm for the drama talk. "Dad, I spout so much nonsense to the principal to avoid getting expelled. How can I remember all of it? Besides, since Göktuğ baby has snitched on me, I'm definitely expelled."
My dad glared at me fiercely and yelled. "I told you a while ago that you were expelled, you idiot."
Whenever he called me an idiot, I found it funny. As long as he said that, I was sure I was his daughter. No need for a DNA test. I was the daughter of a dad who calls his daughter an idiot; it was normal for me to be this way.
"I didn't believe it, dad. I have trust issues with people." My last sentence carried a big hint, but it was hidden.
My dad smirked cunningly, countering my faults with my wrongdoings. "Because you lie to everyone, you think everyone around you is like you."
I couldn't deny the joy he got from scoring a point against me. But I had things to say, too. To cover up the school incident, I pulled out the hidden ace from my sleeve. I raised my eyebrows at him accusingly.
"Aren't you the same, dad?"
He scowled in that authoritative Turkish dad way. "What kind of way is that to talk?"
It was too late for discipline. If you take your daughter to bars and football matches, she'll hear and see different things. Thank goodness I escaped being a tomboy. But let's get to your lies.
"You act like you don't have anyone in your life. I know about your girlfriend."
He softened a bit, realizing the mistake he made, and looked somewhat embarrassed.
"Daughter, I was going to tell you."
I had handled it so well that his explanation was now unnecessary. I waved my hand dismissively, then grabbed the remote again, my casual demeanor obvious.
"No problem, dad. You already broke up."
"What!" he shouted, snatching the remote from my hand, waiting for me to explain my scheming. There was a threat in his tone. Not that he could scare me. But I detailed my actions one by one. I might as well have been giving a lecture on the masterpieces of masters.
"I went to that woman and her family and talked to them. I told them you went crazy after my mom's death, that you were schizophrenic, and that they should protect themselves and their daughter from you. They told their daughter not to see you again."
He couldn't believe it, shaking his head. "They didn't believe you." They might not have believed me, and I was scared they wouldn't, but my acting was top-notch. I began to recount with great pleasure, ready to give more details. "I told you, dad. Do you want me to repeat it? I went to this girl's house-"
He yelled, cutting me off. "Stop. You.. You're too much..."
He trailed off, filled with curiosity, so I pressed on. "Too what, dad?" I lay in ambush, waiting for him to say something bad. Anything I could hold over his head during arguments or use to get permission for something.
"You definitely deserve a punishment."
He deflated my excitement, saying something else entirely. I grabbed the remote from his hand and resumed my previous position, legs stretched out on the couch, wrapped in a blanket.
"If I'm kicked out of school and then out of the house... I swear, I'll work at the first nightclub I find. Then don't come to me saying, 'oh, the honor of the family' or whatever."
While I laughed and joked, he started pacing around frantically. "I'm going to lose my mind, I'll go crazy!" I laughed even harder, having already warned his girlfriend about him in advance. I had seen the future.
"I drove you crazy a long time ago, dad. That's what they all think."
As he stopped pacing and came up with an idea, any punishment he thought to give me would undoubtedly be reduced for good behavior, and I'd dodge it with my cunning.
"You're going to your grandmother's in the countryside."
His suggestion was laughably absurd. I mocked him, "Sure, I'll pack my bags and head out with the camels tonight if you like." He knew it was impossible.
"You think I'm joking, but... You're really in for it this time. You've crossed the line."
What glass? Why does everyone keep saying I've crossed it?
I didn't believe the Principal, but now I was slightly afraid my dad was serious. Was this really getting serious? I sat up, looking at him, hoping there was some rule against parents harming their children. Hopefully. I'd kill any chance of this happening.
"My aunt is getting married. Do you think grandma would want me? In case you forgot, let me remind you she calls me the Apocalypse Pony."
Why would a grandmother give her granddaughter such a nickname? Plus, we barely see each other once in a blue moon. The woman has cemented my childhood image into her life. Excuse me, but where do I resemble the Apocalypse Pony?
"She also says, 'Give me that girl, and I'll straighten her out.'"
I remembered and shuddered. That woman was ruthless. Anyway... I've been expelled. What's holding me back now? There's no point in arguing with my dad. I'll just stay here, behaving, spending my days since there's no school, just lounging.
Spending days just lounging?
No, I can't just lounge all day, I can't stay still. Should I go and beg the Principal? And a whole day with my grandma? No risk is worth taking.
I decided to win my dad over, aiming for a mutual agreement. "Fine. I'll tell her schizophrenia was a mistake. Dad just had the flu, and I misunderstood."
He liked my submission, smirking as he pulled out his phone. As he walked to his room, he warned, "I'll talk to grandma, be quiet."
This couldn't be happening...
Angry that he left me out of the conversation, I shouted after him.
"I hope she slams the door on you, saying, 'What a mistake I made giving my daughter to you.'"
When he really started the call, not caring about the pain from the beating or anything else, I leaped over the coffee table, sprinting towards his room.
He had locked the door. "Dad, open the door." No matter what I did, he wouldn't open it, so I returned to the living room. I paced back and forth,
waiting for his conversation to end. When he finally came out, looking triumphant, I interrupted him.
"I told her everything. Grandma, I said-"
I cut him off, "And she said, 'When did I become your grandma?'" He wasn't deterred and continued. "She might have said that, but she agreed to take you in, Apocalypse Pony."
I'd do everything in my power to prevent this from happening. And even if it did, I'd make everyone regret it. I pretended not to be scared. "She'll send me back in three days." Dad knew it, too. We'd never get along; that despot would show me the door.
"She can't because we're also transferring your school registration. Before coming home, Göktuğ mentioned a school there that seemed good. I liked the idea."
I turned my head sharply away from the TV. They had been plotting this all along, as if they were waiting for me to be expelled. And like a fool, I gave them the opportunity.
The trumpets of revenge started playing in my head's fox farm.
Noticing the shift in my gaze, my dad started to sneak out of the living room. A school, did he say?
I followed him closely.
"What school would take me? I have a record. Plus, I've been expelled. The Principal said no school would take me."
We moved to the kitchen, and I followed him to every corner, waiting for an answer. He remained silent. When he tried to get something from the fridge, I blocked him.
"Göktuğ talked and convinced the Principal. This time, don't mess up, and we'll change your school. You'll straighten up, he said."
What kind of lie was this?
I'd never heard such a big lie in my life, not even from me. I was going to straighten up? There's nothing out of order with me; I'm a perfectly fine girl. As my dad pushed me aside to open the fridge, I stumbled into the wall.
If Göktuğ, my bro, was involved, it couldn't be a lie. He could convince the Principal, I believed that. But this didn't mean I wouldn't make my dad regret sending me to grandma's.
"Hold on, I need to make a call. Be quiet," I said, pushing him aside and heading to my room. Obviously, after all this thinking, I wasn't going to do anything good.
"What's up, who are you going to call?" he asked, following me. I rushed into my room and locked the door. "Open this door." He demanded, but I ignored him.
I called his ex-girlfriend. As soon as she answered, I plunged into a frantic conversation, causing chaos.
"Hello. Do you recognize me? I'm Ayça, the daughter of your ex-boyfriend. He found out I warned you about him and sees me as an obstacle between you two. He's sending me away. Please, take care of yourself. I'm really scared he might do something to you. Yes, calling the police and getting a restraining order is the best idea. Definitely file a complaint! Absolutely, file a complaint! Let me send you the chief inspector's number; we've dealt with similar situations before."
After my effective and quick phone call, I sent the woman the number. My dad had stopped trying to force the door by then, waiting for me to open it. Eventually...
Excited to see his reaction firsthand, I opened the door with a grin. He asked tiredly,
"Are you seriously this kind of person?"
Watching his reaction with pleasure, I retorted, "Legally, I'm an adult, not a child."
"Do you remember I'm a cop, right?" he said, suggesting he could handle whatever I had set in motion. If they filed a complaint, a misunderstanding would be easily cleared. But who cares about the aftermath?
I wanted to burst his bubble. I wasn't interested in dealing with doused sparks. "You're no Rıza Baba... That's why I gave them the chief inspector's number. Now, like the Apocalypse Pony's dad, you'll have a record too. They'll laugh at you."
He snatched my phone away. Checking the messages, he exclaimed, "You didn't do this! Where did you get this number?"
Leaning casually against the door frame, I boasted, "From you. Sometimes I scare people off by saying I know the chief inspector."
Handing my phone back with force, he grumbled, "You're impossible to deal with." Though he pressed the phone into my chest hard, my spirits were high. It wouldn't have hurt so much if I hadn't been beaten today. I felt sorry for myself again. But I was a proud dog with a wagging tail, a cunning fox, and a wolf craving revenge.
"Grandma will say the same in less than a week. And you, dear dad, will suffer for sending me to her and hiding your girlfriend from me."
My dad glared at me, piercing. "Catching all the criminals in the city and not being able to handcuff the troublemaker in my own house is really hard."
Anticipating the smell of a threat, I grabbed my phone, pretending to dial. "What was the number for child abuse? Does your office handle these cases too?"
My dad, provoked, started swearing. "We'll see who's tougher, Apocalypse Pony or Naime Sultan. It's a showdown, my girl. Cry and beg to come back, but you're staying there until you say, 'Dad, I'll be good.'"
He stormed off after his final words. I yelled after him,
"I'll definitely say that! If I'm the Apocalypse Pony, I'll tame not just Naime but the whole district."
And at the end of it all, even if the world turns into an apocalypse, I'll still be the one smiling...
