Bölüm 3

Tell me, blessed Angel,

You killed in war, defiling the land you tread,

You turned a blind eye to the one pleading for mercy.

How could you remain good?

Tell me, blessed Demon,

You destroyed your home in war, defiling the land you tread,

You turned a blind eye to the necessary evil.

How could you remain evil?

You waged your wars,

And did not a single one of you emerge victorios?

⚜️

As I lay on my bed, idly tracing the patterns on the ceiling, a knock echoed at the door.

"Come in!"

I sat up and offered a smile to the two figures entering the room.

"Well, look who’s here! Welcome back!"

"We’re back!" Adel cried out, throwing her arms around my neck. Her twin, Aida, lunged right after her.

"We missed you so much!"

As we pulled apart, laughing, I couldn't help but look them over. With their thick, light chestnut hair, wide hazel eyes, and a dusting of freckles across their cheeks, they looked as adorable as ever.

"I see the holiday treated you well. You’ve grown quite a bit."

This elicited a giggle from both of them. Adel and Aida were two centuries younger than I—Darrel’s charming twin cousins. They had been away from the academy for the break, exploring the reaches of the heavens. They were young in years, but their courage was formidable. I adored them both.

"We grew taller!"

"I’m taller than Aida now."

"Are not! We’re exactly the same height!"

I caught them both by the arms to interrupt their sweet bickering.

"Hold on, let me see you side-by-side."

They both waited with bated breath for my verdict as I carefully measured them. Well, Adel was right; though the difference was marginal, Aida was indeed the shorter of the two.

"Aida, I’m so sorry, darling, but..."

"Yes! I knew it!"

Adel began jumping for joy, making gloating faces at her twin, while Aida pouted. Smirking, I drew them both under my wings.

"Fortunately, you’re both still shorter than me. You can continue your sulking."

There was nearly a head’s height difference between us.

"I’ll pass you too, you’ll see!" Adel countered.

"We’ll see about that, dear," I replied teasingly, prompting them both to stick their tongues out at me.

"Will there be a ball this year?"

I shrugged at Aida’s question. "I don’t know. But most likely."

The ball was an annual tradition. When the Academy Board first conceived the idea, the goal was to help the Unseens integrate. Over time, however, it had evolved into a night of revelry where angels and demons simply sought to outdo one another.

"They won’t hold it on the first day. We weren't here today, but I assume they only covered Celestial History. No one has descended to Hell yet."

I nodded in agreement with Adel. "Exactly. We descend to Hell tomorrow. The assignments begin the day after."

Aida clapped her hands in excitement. "Oh, I can’t wait! I want to start guiding mortals toward their paths as soon as possible."

Adel gave her sister a theatrical roll of her eyes. "You’re an angel, Aida. You’ll be guiding them toward goodness anyway. The ones who should be excited are the Unseens."

"Still. I’ve missed descending to the mortal realm."

"Or you’ve missed sneaking off to the theater," Adel said, narrowing her eyes as if revealing a grand secret.

"Shut up, Adel!"

Aida was obsessed with human theater. She had dragged us along once; it was pleasant, but it hadn't left nearly the same impression on me as it had on her. Aida watched the stage with such intensity that I expected her to leap up and join the cast at any moment. She looked at every actor with pure adoration.

"You’ve already been late twice. If you defy the rules one more time, you’ll be expelled!"

"I told you I’d be more careful!"

"Shh! Stop fighting."

"Tell that to Adel! She sticks her nose into everything I do!"

"Tell that to Aida! She can’t stay still for a second!"

They were precious, but when they fought, they were utterly exhausting.

"Where’s Dina?" Aida asked.

I smirked. "I don't know. She got all dressed up and left. Wherever she went is a mystery."

Aida and Adel smirked back, and seconds later, the three of us were dissolved into laughter.

Dina was seeing someone, but she refused to tell us who. I didn't know why she was keeping it a secret, but she was adamant. The strange thing was, I hadn't been able to spot anyone who seemed particularly interested in her. Eventually, I’d given up and decided to wait for her to tell me in her own time.

I was still waiting.

After spending a bit more time with them, I changed my clothes and led the three of us out of the room. With Aida on my left and Adel on my right, they talked incessantly about their adventures. I listened intently; I had visited some of the places they mentioned, but hearing it through the twins’ perspective was far more entertaining. It was clear they had discovered much more than I had.

As we reached the garden, it was mostly populated by Angels and Unseens. Some angels were already giving the newcomers tours.

I couldn't help but sigh. I could have been showing Ian around. But he hadn't wanted me to.

"We brought you a gift, by the way!"

Aida’s excited voice made me stop in my tracks. She stepped in front of me, with Adel joining her side, both looking at me with endearing expressions.

"I don't know if you'll like it, but I thought of you the moment I saw it."

"We thought of you!" Adel corrected.

A wide smile broke across my face. "Oh, you’re so sweet! I’m sure I’ll love it."

The twins didn't give gifts to just anyone. Since they both loved decorating their surroundings, they usually kept the beautiful things they found to adorn their own rooms. I had seen their walls; there was barely a square inch of empty space. The fact that they had chosen something for me—and that I was the first person they thought of—touched me deeply.

"We left it in the room in case we couldn't find you. We didn't want anything to happen to it while we were searching. We’ll give it to you when we get back."

As Adel explained why they couldn't give it to me then, Aida insisted they should have brought it along and that Adel was being unnecessarily paranoid. This was the primary difference between them: Adel was the logical, calm one, while Aida was impulsive and mercurial. Adel was the mature one; Aida was the child.

"Well, well! Look who we have here."

Darrel approached with his arms wide open, and the twins ran toward him. I watched with a smile as he gathered them both into his wings and hugged them tightly.

"What’s this? You didn't even come to see me first?" he teased, glancing at me. "Did you miss Celine more than me?"

"Yes!"

"No!"

Adel and Aida’s simultaneous shouts followed by their bewildered looks at each other sent us both into fits of laughter.

"Aida just can't stop putting her foot in it," Darrel joked.

"I missed you both equally! I can’t speak for Aida."

"I missed you both equally too!"

Sensing the argument might escalate, I quickly intervened. "I believe you both, my little angels."

When Darrel and the twins flew off toward the hills to catch up, I didn't follow. I wanted them to have their time together, and I wanted to find Ian. At the very least, I wanted to know which room he was in. And who his roommate was. I hoped it wasn't a demon. What could he be doing all by himself? If he were with an angel, there was no problem, but a demon might lead him into all sorts of trouble.

Then again, maybe he wouldn't care.

You never knew with demons.

I turned back and walked quickly toward the room of the angel who kept the dormitory records. When I reached the door, I almost burst in but caught myself at the last second. I knocked and waited.

"Mr. Austin?"

I heard rustling from within, but he still hadn't granted me permission to enter.

"It’s an emergency. May I come in, please?"

"Enter!"

When I opened the door, I found not only Mr. Austin but also Ms. Agatha. Mr. Austin was at his desk, as usual, buried under piles of parchment. However, he was standing, and despite his attempts to hide it, he looked flustered. Ms. Agatha was sitting on the sofa, but she was breathless, as if she had been flying for hours.

The thoughts that crossed my mind were far from innocent.

I closed my eyes tight, trying to erase the mental image. I might have misinterpreted the situation. And even if I hadn't, it was none of my business.

I stepped inside, feigning ignorance.

"Mr. Austin, could you tell me which room the Unseen named Ian is staying in?"

"Of course, of course."

He shuffled through his papers with practiced speed. He blurted out the room number, and I hurried out.

Mr. Austin had been the record-keeper for newcomers for centuries. He noted everything: our rooms, schedules, and supply lists. He was a bespectacled angel with graying hair, looking much older than the rest of us.

Ms. Agatha primarily taught the Unseens; she rarely instructed the upper classes. Her hair was also graying at the roots. They said she had been a strikingly beautiful angel in her youth, but now she was thin, frail, and appeared just as old as Mr. Austin.

I never would have expected to find them in such a... state.

I shook my head, trying to forget. None of your business, Celine. None of your business.

When I reached Ian’s room, I realized it was the one furthest from mine. We were even in different wings. My heart sank. I didn't know what would have changed if he were right next door, but the fact that we were constantly kept at a distance was frustrating.

I felt my heart quicken as I knocked. What would I say? I hadn't thought that far ahead.

The stress of my lack of a plan spiked when Ian opened the door. He seemed entirely unsurprised to see me, regarding me with an expressionless stare.

"Hi!" I said, my voice forcedly cheerful.

He said nothing, merely continuing to look at me, standing firmly in the doorway. His lack of reaction made me even more nervous.

"Um, the teachers asked us to take you for a tour. I thought I’d come by."

I had lied. I had actually lied! Even I couldn't believe the sentence coming out of my mouth, while Ian merely raised an eyebrow.

"Does my roommate know about this?"

"It’s a tradition for the angels. Our goal is to help you adjust faster and discover your true self."

Lying left a truly foul taste in my mouth. It didn't suit me, and even if he didn't know I was lying, I felt terrible. But he had left me no choice. Why did he have to be so difficult? What was his life like on Earth? Was he like this there, too?

"I told you I’d learn along with everyone else."

"But that was my personal request," I countered immediately. "Now, the teachers are requesting it."

He let out a heavy sigh, and though I felt slightly slighted, I tried to look as charming as possible.

"Being around me isn't as bad as you think. If you want, I won't talk unnecessarily. I won't talk at all, if that's what you prefer. I'll just show you around. I’ll only speak when you have a question."

He looked me up and down. Finally, he stepped out and closed the door behind him. I offered a thrilled smile, while he looked utterly reluctant.

As he started walking, I quickly caught up. We descended the stairs and went out to the garden. I wanted to show him the grounds, but it made more sense to start with the academy itself and provide some context. For some reason, I wanted to impress him.

We went to the back of the academy garden. There were a few demons around, but I ignored them, giving them as wide a berth as possible. Ian walked beside me. I expected him to look around curiously, but his gaze remained fixed straight ahead.

I pointed toward the Garden of Adam and Eve on the right side of the yard, where the hedges rose high, forming what was said to be a labyrinth.

"Look, that’s the Garden of Adam and Eve. Some say the inside is like a maze. It looks like nothing from above, but they say anyone who enters never returns."

Rosebuds peeked out from between the towering hedges. From the outside, it looked beautiful and alluring.

"Legend says that before Adam and Eve were sent to Earth, they tended to this garden with great care. It was Eve’s favorite. That’s why it’s said that the labyrinth contains her favorite fruits and flowers. Adam and Eve supposedly disrespected the Goddesses in this very garden. After they were exiled, no one could care for it as they did. Eventually, the hedges grew tall, and those who entered couldn't find their way back. Once people realized this, they stopped setting foot in it. Many angels believe the garden mourns the fall of Adam and Eve and refuses to let anyone near out of grief."

Ian gave the garden a cursory glance. He didn't seem particularly interested. I had thought he might be curious; the garden certainly exerted a powerful pull on me. Even standing near it, I felt a stir within me, as if I were meant to go inside.

Not wanting to lose his attention, I tried to steer him toward another area. I led him to a more open part of the garden where no one else was present. People rarely came here unless there was a class.

"We have most of our lessons here. We learn to identify the nature of each other's energy. It might sound strange, but we can actually 'taste' energy. It’s extraordinary!"

When I looked up, I saw him staring blankly at the garden. Sensing my gaze, he looked at me out of the corner of his eye.

"We also use this area to depart for our assignments in the skies. This is our gathering point. Aside from classes, not many people visit, which is why it’s so empty."

"You said you wouldn't talk."

"But these places are important," I replied, trying to hide my hurt. "Look at the fountain!" I raised an excited finger, pointing to the fountain on our left. He followed as I moved toward it.

As we stood before the fountain, I searched his face and finally saw a change. It wasn't much, but his gaze was more focused on the fountain than it had been on the rest of the garden. His brows were slightly furrowed. I began my explanation immediately.

"The First Angels built this fountain. When the founders realized that Angels, Demons, and especially Unseens needed an academy, they built this fountain along with it."

I pointed to the statue in the center—taller than us, half Angel and half Demon.

"Since both angels and demons are educated here, they thought it best to design the statue this way. It also represents the balance within the academy."

The Angelic side of the statue featured a massive wing, half of a long gown, and half a halo above its head. Even though it was stone, the mercy in its eyes was evident. The corner of its lip was curved into half of a compassionate smile.

The Demonic side featured another massive wing, the slit of a long gown with a plunging neckline, a single horn atop its head, and a demon’s tail behind. Even as a statue, the cruelty in its eyes was unmistakable. The corner of its mouth was curled into a wicked smirk, promising malice.

The statue had its hands clasped together, its neck tilted slightly forward. Water flowed from beneath the hem of its robes, filling the basin. It looked as though the statue were floating on the water.

Ian studied the statue for longer than I expected. He looked so intently that I was afraid to even breathe and break the moment.

While he examined the statue, I watched him. He was handsome. Truly, he possessed the most beautiful and captivating face I had ever seen. I could have watched him for hours. Being near him made the light within me stir; my energy surged. He couldn't feel it yet, but he would learn to in his classes. I had to make sure he didn't realize the strange feelings I had for him. If he did, I would not only drive him further away but also be mortified.

I took a quiet, deep breath. I felt drawn to him, but it wasn't a typical attraction. I didn't know what it was. I’d had crushes on angels before, but I’d never felt anything this powerful. Ian’s influence over me was overwhelming.

He suddenly turned his head toward me, and our eyes met. He’d caught me staring. I looked down instantly, feeling the heat rise in my face.

"W-would you like me to show you another statue?"

Did my voice just tremble? Ugh! I’m making a fool of myself! The more nervous I get, the more I mess up.

"Show me," he said, and the tone I caught in his voice gave me hope. He didn't sound nearly as reluctant as before. I even sensed a hint of understanding.

Still, I moved forward without lifting my head out of embarrassment. When we reached another statue in the garden, I tried to shake off my tension.

"This is Sèyye. One of the ancient Angels. Her statue was erected because she fought to maintain justice and balance."

I took a deep breath before beginning. It was a long story.

"It was centuries ago—back when we still spoke the language of the Ancient Angels. A war broke out between the Angels and the Demons. We don't know the cause, but both sides claimed to be superior. Sèyye was born during this war. They say she lost her father in battle before she was even born. Her mother died trying to protect her. Sèyye was 'stained' during the war, her wings covered in dust and ash. The Demons, believing her to be one of their own, took her in. They soon realized she wasn't a demon, but the ones who found her raised her nonetheless.

By the time Sèyye grew up, the war was still raging. When her demonic guardians told her the truth, she was furious. Even without formal training, she knew that neither side was superior. She joined the war in secret, away from her demonic family. But she didn't go to kill like the others; she went to heal. She began healing wounded Angels, Demons, and even children. She told the children she healed that the war must end, that the two sides were equal and maintained the balance. She asked them to convince their families.

But the war had already spiraled out of control. It wouldn't end until one side was defeated. The problem was, both sides had suffered massive losses. In their quest for victory, they hadn't realized they were bringing about their own end. So, Sèyye took up a sword and tied a blindfold over her eyes. She plunged into the battlefield 'blind.' She fought by swinging her sword randomly. She killed without knowing if the person before her was an Angel or a Demon. The Angels and Demons watching couldn't make sense of it. They tried to attack her, but no one succeeded because Sèyye was too powerful. Since she was killing both sides, they couldn't tell whose side she was on.

Eventually, the fighting began to die down. Sèyye became everyone’s common target. As she stood there swinging her sword, everyone stopped fighting to watch her. Surrounded, Sèyye continued to lash out at the air.

When she finally stopped, she was breathless. She didn't remove the blindfold, but the tears streaming down her cheeks were visible. The books say she said: 'The balance is broken because of you. By killing one another, you are actually destroying yourselves. I have killed both an angel and a demon. Because neither of you is stronger than I. Neither is superior. None of you is more sacred than the balance. Therefore, you are equal. Do not try to defeat one another. For the victory of one is the defeat of you both.' After these words, Sèyye turned the blade upon herself and took her own life."

"If she killed herself, how do you know Sèyye’s story?"

"The Demons who raised her found her journal. It wasn't exactly a diary, more like a ledger. She wrote about the war, her inability to understand how both sides could be so blind, and how the children were being ravaged by the conflict. But on the final page, she wrote her life story. Knowing she would end her life, she wrote about the life she was leaving behind. 'I am an angel, but I was raised by demons. After they learned I was an angel, they did not kill me despite the war; they raised me with great mercy. That is balance.' I’m quoting a sentence from the ledger."

Sèyye’s story always moved me. she had literally sacrificed herself to stop the war. And the war might not even have ended. Even though she knew she might die for nothing, she was willing to take that risk with her own life.

"This is the place where Sèyye died. That’s why her statue is here." I pointed to the statue’s cheeks. "If you look closely, you can see that even the tears from her eyes were carved into the stone. Sèyye is the symbol of justice and balance. That’s why she carries scales in one hand and the sword she used to kill herself in the other."

"Her death didn't seem very effective," he remarked, making me turn to him.

"No, it was. The war ended."

"No, your war is still going on."

When he turned his gaze to me, I knew he was referring to the incident this morning. I let out a heavy sigh.

"Angels and Demons will never truly get along. We are too different. That’s why we have issues, but we aren't at war."

"Demons are also educated in this academy, right?"

"Yes," I said with a smile.

"Are there any demon teachers besides Douglas?"

I shook my head. "Why do you ask?"

He looked intently at me and then at the statue.

"Sèyye said you were equal. But in an academy where demons also study, there is only one demon teacher. You just said you were very different from each other. So how can an angel teach a demon? You mentioned assignments. I’m sure there’s a grading or exam system. If an angel can't understand a demon, how can they evaluate their performance?"

I was momentarily speechless. I hadn't expected such a question, and I had to admit I was impressed. No Unseen had ever asked something like that before.

"Our lessons aren't as individualized as you think. We all study the same history. We work in the same libraries. What we learn is identical. So it doesn't matter if you're an angel or a demon. In the assignments, everyone guides humans on Earth according to their own nature. But we learn that through experience, not through lessons. That’s how you’ll learn, and whichever side of you becomes dominant while guiding humans, that’s the side you’ll gravitate toward."

I smiled to try and pique his interest.

"Tomorrow you’ll descend to Hell. Douglas will take you. If I don't have a class at that time, I’ll come along. The first place you visit will likely be the library." I leaned toward him and whispered, "Just between us, but Hell’s library is much larger and more beautiful than the one here."

Another lie. I didn't know about its size, but our library was definitely more beautiful. In ours, the light poured in, keeping everything bright. You worked, read, and researched in a spacious environment. it was so vast and high that you could even fly inside if you wanted to. Angels had a flair for architecture. But I lied because I didn't want Ian to have a negative perception of me.

Ian simply nodded. He continued to study the statue for a while longer. I, on the other hand, was beginning to feel uneasy. He was defending the demons more than necessary. How could he have enough knowledge to defend their rights when he had only just arrived?

"How is your roommate? Have you met?"

He just nodded but didn't say whether they were an Angel or a Demon. I bit my lip and tried my luck again.

"They usually don't mix genders. Men stay with men, women with women. But sometimes there are exceptions. Are you one of the exceptions?"

He was silent. Was he uncomfortable? Had I annoyed him without realizing it?

"Are you okay? Would you like me to show you another statue? Or I could take you to the library?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Alright."

As I started walking, he followed. I wasn't planning on taking him anywhere specific. I’d just walk him through the garden. My goal was to talk to him.

"Can I ask you something?"

At my hesitant voice, he looked at me sideways. He didn't answer, but he didn't say no either. So I took it as a yes.

"What was your life like on Earth?"

His brows furrowed. His expression hardened, and I could feel him tensing up. When I focused on his energy, I saw it was in a state of turmoil.

"Um, was that a question I shouldn't have asked? I’m sorry. I was just curious," I said apologetically. I bowed my head, and he said nothing. As we walked in silence, both of us were tense. I didn't know exactly why he was tense, but I was tense because I had made him uncomfortable.

I wanted him to like me, but I was pushing him away.

But I also wanted him to trust me. I thought that if he told me about his past life, he might trust me. At least, that was my theory. But things weren't going according to plan.

"I didn't mean to bother you," I couldn't help but say. "I just..."

My words were cut off by a voice from behind us.

"Well, well, look who we have here!"

I turned to see Ember. She had left her straight black hair loose over her shoulders. Her tight, black leather corset left her chest partially exposed and accentuated her thin waist. The tight pants she wore seemed like an extension of the corset. She was strutting toward us in high heels.

"An Angel and an Unseen. Why am I not surprised?"

When she stopped in front of us, her yellow eyes sparkled with malice. I wiped the smile from my face and raised my chin.

"What’s your problem, Ember?"

"My problem?" she asked with feigned shock. "I don't have a problem. I just wanted to come over when I saw you."

I raised my eyebrows.

"Are you giving him a tour of the academy?"

She let out a mocking laugh.

"Honey, I’ve already given him the tour."

Her words felt like a bucket of ice water being poured over me. I looked at Ian and saw him looking back at me. But this time, I wasn't happy he was looking.

"Is Ember your roommate?"

Ember laughed again. "There are rare exceptions, my dear angel. Why are you so surprised?"

I dug my nails into my palms. So that was why he hadn't been surprised by anything I showed him. Because he had already seen it.

"And as you know, roommates are the ones who show the Unseens around," she smirked, and I glared at her. My lie had been exposed. In fact, it had been exposed from the very beginning. Ian knew I was lying. And even though he’d already seen the academy, he hadn't corrected me. He had revisited the places he’d already seen with me.

This realization stirred the light within me. That was exactly the kind of thing an angel would do. If he were closer to the demons, he would have exposed my lie the moment I came to his door and slammed it in my face.

So, contrary to what I thought, he was closer to the angels than the demons.

I took a deep breath and tried to smile.

"I know, Ember. But you also know that my roommate isn't an Unseen."

"And you chose the Unseen in the furthest room of your own wing instead of someone closer, just so you could give a tour, is that it?"

She smirked insolently. She’d figured out what I was up to and was clearly enjoying ruining my game.

Typical demon!

"Yes. Because you demons only perform your duties when you feel like it, many Unseens learn about the academy late." I tilted my head and smiled. "I’m just trying to mitigate that as much as I can. If you weren't like this, I wouldn't be needed."

Ember’s smile faded at my words. She was now looking at me with rage.

"Maybe we’re just tired of taking orders from you. Maybe we aren't slaves like you, following every command, and we don't want to do anything we aren't forced to."

"It’s not our fault you see even a small request as an order."

"Hah!" she scoffed. "The consequence of not doing a request isn't punishment, my dear angel. Get that through your haloed head!"

I rolled my eyes as she brushed past me, hitting my shoulder hard. Stay calm, Celine. Stay calm.

When I looked up at Ian, I saw him watching Ember walk away. This made me furrow my brows. Why was he looking after her?

"That’s just how demons are. They make everything difficult, they don't do anything unless it benefits them, they only cause trouble."

He didn't agree with me. My anger toward Ember grew. The demon had once again acted like a demon and ruined my entire mood.

I tried to keep my voice steady.

"I didn't know you’d already seen the academy. Thank you for coming along anyway."

"It’s fine."

I smiled to try and regain my cheer.

"If you're tired, you can go back to your room. I can tell you a lot more without having to walk around."

"When is the next lesson?"

"Yours? Probably tomorrow around this time..."

"See you tomorrow," he said, and before I could respond, he walked away. I watched him go with my mouth agape. Then, with a heavy sigh, I began walking slowly back to my room.

Had I annoyed him? Had I made him uncomfortable? I’d said I wouldn't talk much at first, but then I hadn't stopped. Had my voice bothered him? Or was my conversation just boring? But I couldn't exactly add personal opinions while explaining history!

And he was roommates with Ember. Ember! Was there no one else? Was there truly not a single angel left in the entire academy?

So she’d shown him around before me. That wasn't like Ember at all. The thought that she might have been attracted to Ian as well crossed my mind. This thought fueled the fire of my anger and jealousy. I had seen him first. And even in that first moment, something had stirred within me. If they weren't in the same room, Ember wouldn't even have noticed him.

I sighed deeply. He’d said 'see you tomorrow,' but did he truly want to see me, or was he just trying to get rid of me?

I hope I don't have a class tomorrow morning. I needed to descend to Hell.

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