I smile at the mirror. Because I look beautiful and it happens like once in a month. I look beautiful because I wanted to. For him. In honor of our sixth date.
After I comb my curly black hair, I wear the midnight blue high heels that matches with my indigo dress. He is going to pick me up from my house. So I pick up my phone to text him.
As I'm about to text him, I receive a message from him that says he is in front of the door. My lips curl with a wide smile and I almost run to door.
There he is, his arm hangs from the window of his car as he looks at me with a big smile on his face. I can see the affection in his wide brown eyes.
"Are you ready?" he asks.
I smirk. "I was born ready, baby."
"Did you just call me baby?"
"Yeah, probably."
"Well, I liked it."
"Really?" I ask as I lock the door. Then I get into his car.
He drives to the resturant by the lake. It is a lovely place. The staff are really polite and the decoration is so fine. I've never been to here since it is really expensive. But he has brought me here.
While we wait for our orders, he mentions how much he loves this place. I nod.
When I feel my nose run, I look for a tissue but there is none on the table. So I pick my handbag and open it. But as I search for a tissue, a pillbox drops to the ground. Its lid immediately opens and the colorful pills spill to the marble floor.
My hands start to shake. The question pounds in my head: What am I going to do?
Without thinking, I start to pick them up. I can feel Danny's gaze upon me.
"What are those for?" he asks.
"I-" I hesitate.
"What are you hiding, Elsa?" The seriousness in his voice gives me chills.
"I'm not hiding! I swear I was going to tell you but I-"
"What are those for?"
I start to stutter. "T-these a-are antidepressants."
His once warm gaze freezes. "What?"
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you before."
"Of course you didn't tell me you were fucked in the head."
What did he say? I freeze in my place. I can't say anything. No matter how much I want to. The sentence pounds in my head again and again:
He called you fucked in the head.
He called you fucked in the head.
He called you fucked in the head.
I can't move. It's like the world has stopped spinning. Everything has gone from warm orange to icy blue. There was nothing that were not wrong.
"I'm leaving." he says finally. As he stands up, I prepare myself to beg.
"Danny, wait!" I say with a hoarse voice.
But he doesn't wait. I realize that everyone in the restaurant looks at us. I don't care, tho. I just don't want to lose him.
I follow him to the outside of the restaurant. I keep yelling his name. Finally, he turns to me.
"Stay away from me." His voice is filled with raw disgust.
"What have I done to you?" I whisper.
"You lied." He replies. "You're a liar but more importantly, you are a liability."
"Liability?" I ask with such surprise. I've never thought that someone could call me a liability before. But here we are.
"I don't want to know you anymore, Elsa. I'm sorry but unfortunately, you were like a poison to me."
Then he leaves me there, all alone. I can't see the screen of my phone clearly but somehow I manage to call myself a taxi.
After a long taxi drive passed with crying, I am home again. But I'm not alone. The girl that I love waits for me at the living room. When she sees that I cry, she holds me as if I am the only solid thing in the world. It is the only love I haven't screwed up. She is so hard to please but I somehow meet her demands.
She takes my hand and I know we are about to slow dance around my living room. So I start the CD player. Yellow by Coldplay starts to play.
As we dance, she kisses my knuckles, the tips of my fingers and palm of my hands. The trembling feeling that Danny made me feel is gone now.
"We are fine." she whispers as I feel her fingertips on my cheek. "You are fine, my love."
But I get down on my knees. Because I know that if someone was looking at me from the outside, all they see would be a girl swaying alone, stroking her cheek.
"I'm fucked in the head." I say into the silence. "I understand, I'm a liability."
I know I'm better on my own but somehow I can't get manage to put distance between me and other people. I should've stayed away from Danny. And he shouldn't have danced in my storm.
Tears still drop on my cheeks as I pick up the pillbox from my handbag and walk to the bathroom. I spill every single one of them into the toilet and flush.
My whisper pierces the silence. "Goodbye, dear liabilities."
