Chapter 5: Sowing Emotions
When my sisters and I were little, we were never allowed to enter the throne room without our guardian leading us. That room always seemed like something out of an enchanting fairy tale. We were only brought before our father, the ruler of the era, during special ceremonies and religious rituals to express our respect and love for him. I used to marvel at the throne room, fascinated. The golden embroideries on the red walls, the golden candlesticks fixed to the wall at intervals...
The scent of burning bay leaves, embedded into the palace's soul despite the centuries, was familiar to our noses. Right opposite the double golden doors stood the throne in all its glory, two steps above the ground. Back then, I blamed my short stature for how huge the throne appeared to me, but now, despite my tall figure, it still looks exceptionally large and dazzling. They used to say that throne belonged to Bilun, and neither me nor my siblings could ever sit there...
While crossing my right leg over my left, the corner of my lip twisted with the effort of my thoughts. Supposedly on the verge of a crisis, I should have hidden my smile, but I didn't bother because the only person in the room, Çağın, was too caught up in his panic to notice me.
"We're done for, absolutely done! The people were already reluctant to accept you. If they hear that your father's spirit won't be sanctified, no one will even look your way." He seemed to be trying to escape the worry that danced in his amber eyes with his brisk steps. He had paced every corner of the red and gold chamber within seconds.
After sending the guard who informed me of the situation to call Çağın, I had hurried to the throne room and ordered that the palace gates be closed to the public for a few days. Knowledge of the late king's body disappearing without being sanctified would lead to nothing but chaos. Of course, closing the palace gates would attract attention. I could distract the public with minor excuses, but I was sure that both the Elysian nobility and my siblings were already aware of the situation. It had been about fifteen minutes since I had tasked the palace scholars to investigate this matter and explore if anything similar had occurred in Elysian history when Çağın entered the throne room, visibly shaken and pacing in horror.
As I stood up from my throne with a delightful ease, I called out, "Çağın!" He stopped in his tracks and looked at me with furrowed brows. "Can't you be a bit calmer? You're making me anxious too."
He spread his arms and spoke, "You should be tense right now! I don't know if you realize, but your father's body is missing, meaning the funeral can't proceed. Your father won't become a sacred spirit!"
His eyes widened in horror. While biting his lower lip, he said, "Do you have any idea what it means for a deceased king not to become a sacred spirit?" When I remained silent, he shouted, "Of course you wouldn't know; this has never happened before!"
Elysian rulers became Sacred Spirits upon death. If I didn't know why my father's body disappeared, I would be very concerned. Still, I had to pretend not to know the truth in front of Çağın, at least for now; no one else should be aware of what was happening.
"Think I'm not worried?" I shouted back, pretending to be frantic. "Just look at the absurdity of events I'm dealing with! First, my succession is disputed, and now the body of my father under my watch is missing!" Well, it wasn't exactly missing... I sighed heavily with feigned frustration and slightly bowed my head. I didn't enjoy pretending in front of him, but I had to keep this secret for the good of Elysian. The room fell into a deep silence, so I placed my hands on my hips and lifted my head to the ceiling. "Alright," I said, trying to calm myself. "Maybe we should remain calm since this has never happened before." I approached him calmly. "When my succession is acknowledged, I can discuss this with the sacred spirits; maybe it's not as bad as we think."
"What if it is bad?"
I laughed to myself, mockingly. "We're used to finding a way. Let's deal with the issues we're sure are problematic first."
He squinted. "You calmed down too quickly..."
"I haven't calmed down, I'm just trying to approach the situation coolly."
Even though I knew he would be furious and argue with me once everything was revealed, I had to remain silent for now.
Despite his continued suspicion, a few seconds later he cleared his throat, placed his hands on the belt of his pants, and said, "You're right. We should stay calm and discuss what to do next. Do you want me to closely monitor the scholars' investigation?" I nodded affirmatively, smiling, "If you do that, I'll always be grateful."
Ignoring my gratitude, he offered a second idea: "There might have been incidents in Elysian that triggered this situation. What do you think about secretly sending a few guards among the people? This way, the public won't notice them, and they can gather information without raising suspicion."
"I called Alven to my side to issue that order..." I began when the door was knocked, and Alven entered the room.
His green eyes were more subdued compared to a few hours ago. The furrowed brows and the smile that had left his lips gave him a stern demeanor. His blond hair was tied neatly, reaching over his shoulder. With broad shoulders back and a sharp chin up, he was holding his silver helmet under his arm. The red of his uniform, visible only on his arms, reflected on the silver armor's engravings. Before he began speaking, he nodded to me in greeting. "I am Alven, the third generation grandson of chief guard Barkan, ready to fulfill the orders I receive from my sovereign for the sake of Elysian."
"You can be at ease," I said, even though he didn't relax his shoulders or lower his chin. He just slightly parted his legs. "I want you to send three men you trust among the people, they shouldn't appear as guards..." I started. "They will observe any chaos that might trigger this situation among the people and report their observations." I paused for a few seconds, waiting for his acknowledgment. "As you command, my sovereign," he said in a robotic tone. "If the people learn anything about this issue, I'll know it through your men, thus through you," I added.
"You need not worry, my sovereign," he responded in the same tone. Despite having dined together not long ago, his stance as a duty-bound man before me was pleasing.
"Do you have any suggestions or guesses about this situation?"
After a few seconds of thought, when he swallowed, his Adam's apple moved. "Forgive me, my sovereign..." he said, keeping his voice emotion-free. "I don't have any ideas at the moment, but rest assured, I'll do my best to investigate."
"I never doubted..." I reassured him. "Now, without wasting any time, get to work. You may leave." He nodded to me before leaving, took three steps backward
, then turned and headed for the door, which opened before he reached it, and Bilun stepped into the room. A smile spread across my face at the sight of him. Alven moved aside to let him pass, thanking him with a graceful nod, then turned and approached me without taking his eyes off mine.
"Alven, you can stay," I said, asking him not to leave. After all, everything concerning the issue at hand was under my control, but he didn't know that, so he hesitated for a few moments. Still, he obeyed and didn't leave the room.
Bilun approached, holding the hem of his long, navy-blue dress. White frills adorned the neckline and the sleeves that ended above his elbows. He wore lace gloves of the same color that ended at his wrists. A silver crown with a blue, precious stone in the middle adorned his forehead. His blonde hair, tied in a ponytail, was quite long. The smile on his pink lips revealed a dimple on his right cheek. There was a regal air in his blue eyes. The small owl mark in his right eye socket sparkled with blue lights.
When he stopped in front of me, he said, "Welcome." His voice was as always, reserved yet at the same time warm and attentive. There was a controlled maternal quality to it. It neither inspired confidence nor fear. It was enigmatic.
I slightly bowed my head to accept his gracious greeting, then asked, "How have you been since we last met?"
He spoke in a flat tone, "As you know, how are you?"
His continued refusal to address me as his sovereign caught my attention, but I responded without showing it, "As you know."
With that response, he smiled wryly. Tilting his head to his right shoulder, he said, "People are strange... For instance, the richer they get, the stingier they become. They kill those they claim to love. How can you remain the same after spending so much time among people?"
I chuckled. He was the only one who could articulate his refusal to acknowledge my succession with such embellished phrases. He was our most aggressive, yet he made it the least obvious. His sweet words were always laced with a few bullets. I expected sneakiness from Eva, as everyone knows snakes are sly and no one is surprised when they get bitten. But Bilun... Fully understanding him, predicting his actions, was impossible. He knew everything; knowledge was as vast, useful, and dangerous as he was.
"I'd like to discuss this matter in detail when I visit you," I said, placing an insincere smile on my lips.
"Whenever you wish, it would be my pleasure to host you." He smiled back with the same insincerity, making me want to laugh out loud, but I bit the inside of my cheek to stop myself.
Turning to Alven, I asked, "Where's Dawn?" It wasn't hard to guess that Bilun was here because Dawn had rushed to inform him of the situation as soon as he heard about it.
"He had to leave, he wanted me to thank you for the meal," Alven replied, making me smile. Even though I knew Alven added the thank-you part, I said, "He's welcome at my table anytime."
As I walked back to my throne with my back to them, Bilun brought up the subject: "I heard my father's body is missing?"
I sat on my throne. "No worries, everything is under control." Çağın sighed and shook his head in disapproval. Both Bilun and Alven noticed it.
Bilun, with a mocking grin, asked, "Would you like to share what's under control with us?"
"No."
"You should share."
"On the contrary..." I settled more comfortably in my throne. "I shouldn't share matters concerning the palace."
"You're not in that position yet, your succession hasn't been acknowledged." There wasn't the slightest hint of anger in his voice. He hid what he felt with great skill, sifting through his emotions and leaving only a few words side by side.
"Well..." I murmured, raising my eyebrows and looking around as if searching for something. "Do you see anyone more authoritative than me here?"
He bit his lower lip and swallowed the words that had reached the tip of his tongue. As Çağın approached me, he raised his eyebrows, indicating that I should stop this behavior. Perhaps I shouldn't have provoked Bilun while I needed his approval, but it was fun. Çağın began to stand by my throne, probably planning to pull my hair and silence me if I said something inappropriate.
Bilun was about to reply when a few purple sparks appeared near Alven. The sparkling particles multiplied, forming a circle as they spun. A delicate musical sound that emerged at the same time didn't seem to fit the atmosphere, yet it filled us with peace. I closed my eyes, wishing I could fall asleep to this music.
After a while, the cylindrical sparkle disappeared, and Hesna suddenly appeared in the room. Her purple hair was braided on both sides; she wore a short, frilly lilac skirt over a strapless blouse of the same color, with a purple daisy pinned to the strap. She had laced up her high-heeled lilac shoes all the way down and tied them.
As we all stared at Hesna, she smiled broadly at Alven and greeted him with "Alven..!" At the same time, she bent her knees to salute him. Alven also greeted her with a wide smile, saying, "Hesna!"
Without lingering beside Alven, Hesna began to walk towards us. When she stopped in front of Bilun and chuckled, saying "Sister," we all couldn't help but laugh.
Bouncing over to us, she stopped in front of Çağın. Touching his shoulder, she said, "Çağın," but didn't wait for his response before moving to my other side and whispering in my ear, "What's happened, what!?"
I laughed out loud. A smile was on everyone's face; she had managed to relieve our tension and entertain us within seconds. Being the representative of love certainly played a role, but I think the real reason was Hesna's genuinely playful nature.
"Nothing happened, no worries," I said to her, using a sincere tone unlike the one I used with Bilun. Noticing this, Bilun turned his head to the right and laughed as if asking for patience. His deadly calmness amused me, he was actually seething with anger but only smiled...
As I slowly moved my gaze from Bilun, I said, "It's good to see you, Hesna." Hesna raised her eyebrows, looking at me curiously, wanting to know the reason. "Alven and Dawn are planning to announce their union soon. I thought you might want to bless them with love?"
Hesna shrugged her shoulders, clasping her hands at the level of her stomach before smiling without showing her teeth. Turning on her heels towards Alven, she said, "That would make me very happy!"
Alven bowed his head and smiled. "It would make us even happier."
"Perhaps..." I interjected. "Should the public also witness this blessing?" Everyone in the room knew the real meaning of my question was "Should
we announce our alliance to the public?" From Çağın's silence, I understood it was a good move.
Bilun brashly shouted, "They are not your pawns to use for publicity!" as he lifted his dress and began to walk towards me. "You can't use a special ceremony for your own promotion!" His straight brows furrowed, and his oval chin tensed. Sacred spirits swirled anger in my sister's eyes. Normally, if she were truly angry, she wouldn't openly show her anger like this. For instance, she was very angry before Hesna arrived. The bubbling rage was dangerous when hidden behind a smile, not when she was shouting. Now, she was just, as people say, being overly dramatic.
I rose from my throne with slow movements. Shrugging, I murmured, "I had no such intention." A loving smile on my lips, but in my eyes, only Bilun would recognize the challenge. "I just thought that if the people saw love, they could escape Eva's influence. You know, love is unifying."
The peace Hesna brought was interrupted by the door being kicked open. Alven stepped forward defensively, but when he recognized the familiar figure, he relaxed his tense expression. Eva, with quick steps, entered. Her floor-sweeping dress was the same as the one she wore at the curtain. Seeing Hesna standing by my throne, she stopped her steps and smirked mockingly.
"Have you received approval from our weakest?" she said, immediately turning to Bilun. "Ah, no... Our weakest was you." Her loud laugh followed her words.
Bilun smiled venomously and tilted his head to his right shoulder, looking at Eva standing in front of him. "Falling from a great height hurts a lot."
Her deadly calm was frightening. She wasn't an easy target, and her apparent nonchalance now was a sign of a devastating plan.
Eva shrugged carelessly. Speaking with a hiss like a snake, she said, "Then stay down."
Bilun smiled again. This smile meant, "I'll make you eat those words," in the language of the world. I bit the inside of my cheek to suppress my urge to laugh. I guess I'm starting to understand why people enjoy watching a brawl.
Eva turned to me on her heel. With fake anger, she shouted, "What did you do to my father!?" then immediately burst into laughter. Throwing her head back, she displayed the veins that became prominent from laughing, showing them to us. Her teeth shone as bright as the gold in her ears. In her yellow eyes, there were sparks of immense pleasure. The crisis we were experiencing must have really whetted her appetite.
Eventually, she stopped laughing and assumed a serious expression. "I thought it would be harder to dethrone you, but it seems climbing the throne will be much more difficult!" Another round of laughter...
"Ah, if only you didn't have this support..." I squinted at her, laughing. I knew the best response to her was not to take her seriously; she couldn't stand that.
She raised her eyebrows, looking at me. I waited for her to begin speaking. Just as she was about to open her lips, I said, "Now all of you can leave." I walked past Eva, placing a crushing smile on my lips. The swirling malice in her eyes was the name of my success.
I nodded to Alven as I left the room. From the sound of his steps, I could tell Çağın was right behind me. He didn't say anything until we reached the front of my room. At the door, he turned to me and said, "Let's talk later." Even though he tried to protest with "My sovereign..." as I entered, I didn't let him in. "I want to sleep, Çağın, let's talk tomorrow." I closed the door, cutting off our eye contact.
Hiding things from him made me uneasy, but it had to be this way. It was the right thing to do. If the throne fell to Eva, the world would be turned upside down; in a universe where the strong prey on the weak, the weak wouldn't last, and the strong would battle the world. If Bilun took the throne, maybe incompetence would end, maybe the scales of justice would balance and not budge a millimeter, but Bilun was also the representative of knowledge. In a place dominated by dogmatism, the soul, heart, and conscience would suffer heavily. What would happen if Hesna took over was unpredictable; love might bring to mind all the good things, but love wasn't what they thought it was. Love was unbalanced, selfish, the only thing that made you do what you swore you never would. Therefore, the throne belonged to a ruler who was not a slave to any emotion or image.
My father's words from the previous night came to mind.
I hated my mother; she was a traitor who deserved everything she went through. But my father... He was strong, decisive, kind-hearted. Bearing this responsibility he gave me was an honor. I was his heir.
I stopped standing in front of the door and moved inside my room. Standing in front of my full-length mirror, I smiled and admired myself. With the dangerous intoxication of happiness, a few words slipped from my lips: "Everything is going according to plan, dad."
*
When the warm breeze brushed against my neck and passed by my side, I smiled. The air was refreshing. At the beginning of the dirt road, the trees were so dense that not even sunlight could filter through the leaves. As we neared the end of our journey, the trees thinned, seemingly sprinkled around for decoration. The sound of the leaves fluttering in the wind moved me to join in. "I'm curious about something," I said, looking over my shoulder at Çağın, who was driving the cart. He slightly tilted his head to show he was listening.
"Who were the people who adopted me in the World, who sent me regular money? Or was there anyone like that?" Suddenly, I thought of my foster family, whom I never saw but received letters from every month. They wrote that I should work hard to make them proud, they wouldn't hesitate to support me financially, and every success of mine would be their success. When I believed I was human, this made me feel heavily responsible. I thought I could only repay my debt to them with my achievements. I was grateful to them but also angry for making me feel indebted.
"Or did you share the gold you stole from the crypts with me?" I asked in a playful tone, smirking. When he turned his head towards me for a few seconds, his eyebrows rose, causing his forehead to wrinkle, and embarrassment flashed in his eyes. "That barely covered my own needs," he said, making me burst into laughter.
"You love money so much," I remarked.
"Ah, my sovereign, ah... The World has corrupted me," he replied, and I laughed again. He joined my laughter, then cleared his throat a bit before answering my first question. "Everything you needed in the World was provided by our late king."
A meaningful smile played on my lips. I was sure it was my father who wrote those letters. He was getting me
used to bearing a responsibility and carrying it. I don't know in which bodies my soul resided before, but I'm sure he trained me in those bodies as well.
"You did very well by dedicating today to the people. Also, dressing like this to make them feel you're one of them was nice." He commented on my straw hat, emerald green thin t-shirt, and matching long, straight skirt. Compared to what I wore in the palace, these were quite simple. I hadn't told him beforehand that we were visiting the agricultural workers, so he had dressed in a gray satin shirt and black trousers.
"I hope they accept me as one of their own..." I said, rubbing my hands together.
He stopped the cart. Touching my shoulder, he said, "They will." Then he got down.
Before following him, I took a moment to look at the endless expanse of land. The ritual had already begun. There were over a hundred rows, and each row had about fifty people. Before setting their bare feet on the soil, they sniffed the soil they took in their hands, kissed it, and rubbed it on their bodies. Then they stepped on the soil and marched in unison, forming a straight line in each row. After positioning themselves at fixed intervals, they plunged their feet into the soil. They submerged up to their ankles, closed their eyes, stretched out their arms, and began to speak in unison:
"Accept my emotions, ancient soil!"
"I give you my emotions, ancient soil!"
"I sow my feelings into your eternity, ancient soil!"
"Make room for my emotions in Elysian, ancient soil!"
"Send my emotions to the World, ancient soil!"
Each voice coming from different mouths created a melody of a divine music. This melody resonated in Elysian, animating everything. Fruits ripened, children were born, sacred spirits were saluted. In the World, perhaps a murderer was born, maybe a scholar was growing.
Sowing emotions was the work of the people. Giving them beautiful feelings was the sovereign's duty. I looked at the faces of all the workers I could see. Apart from one woman who laughed and let her hat fall off, revealing her blond hair that fell on her shoulder, I hadn't seen anyone else sowing positive emotions yet.
Light from the sky gathered in the tears of an old man. The man, transferring his experience to the soil, had sorrow swirling on his face.
A young man was clenching his teeth so hard that his jaw tensed, and the bones on his face became prominent. He was sowing hatred into the soil.
Jealousy, envy, selfishness, lust for power... These were mostly the emotions being sown. The people were sowing Eva.
They felt for hours; the soil took the emotions, assimilated them, and spread them throughout Elysian. Elysian informed the Sacred Spirits of the emotions, and the Sacred Spirits then sent the emotions to the World.
As the ritual neared its end, all the agricultural workers opened their eyes, lowered their arms, and knelt at the same time. Pressing their hands against the soil, they began to give thanks in unison.
Their gratitude resonated in a divine tone while I got off the cart. It was time to join them. I took off my boots and set them aside. Bending down, I scooped up some soil. I sniffed it. It smelled of existence and truth. I rubbed the soil on my neck, then on my face. Then I stepped barefoot onto it. After taking about five steps, I stopped. Everyone's gaze was now on me. They had stood up and were trying to understand what I would do next.
I dug my feet into the soil I had loosened with my foot, waiting for the soil to cover them up to my ankles. Stretching out my arms and closing my eyes, I felt. I didn't know what I was sowing; I was actually happy but also scared... Scared of disappointing my father, of not being able to return the positive emotions to my people, of failing. Interestingly, at the same time, I also felt confident in myself. All these feelings were being drawn by the soil while I smiled. I felt relieved. It was as if I was frolicking in the high esteem of inner peace.
When the soil had taken enough of my emotions, I opened my eyes, lowered my arms, knelt, and moved my hands over the soil, murmuring, "Thank you for what you have made me feel and for taking what you made me feel."
I brought the hand that had touched the soil to my nose and took a deep breath. I nourished my soul with the feelings of my people. Slowly standing up, I saw thousands of people forming a circle around me, looking at me in astonishment. They knew I was their heir. That's why they were amazed. No ruler had ever sown emotions before.
The young man who had sown hatred and I locked eyes until I decided how to start talking. The young man with the color of the steppe in his eyes smiled at me, surprised when I approached him. He had a bony face, a tall stature. His cheeks were sunken, his nose small compared to his face, and his chin angular. His eyes were slanted and naturally lined, matching the color of his long dress that fluttered in the wind.
I stood in front of him and pressed my hand against his cheek, whispering, "Do you know one of the strangest things in the World, beautiful?" Everyone must have heard this whisper. The young man looked at me uncertainly before shaking his head slightly. I continued: "That when beauty is mentioned, the first thing that comes to mind is women... How strange, isn't it?"
He furrowed his brows this time, as if weighing my nonsense in his mind. Seconds later, hatred swirled in his eyes. "Shallow creatures!" he hissed, making me smile.
I moved my hand from his cheek to his shoulder and posed a new question: "Is this hatred for people?"
This question baffled him even more. So much so that he unconsciously stepped back, squinting at me. Trying to reassure him, I moved my fingers, caressing his shoulder. "To everyone stronger than me..." he whispered back. Only I heard him. "Despite feeding on my emotions, people are stronger than me!" He growled with anger, making me swallow. "I also hate the nobles who exploit us just because they can cast spells." He was angry with me now.
"I'm not the one who made them privileged." I defended myself, injecting compassion into my words. To show him I understood, I moved my hand from his shoulder to his hand. "If I was happy with them exploiting you, I wouldn't be here; I'd be with them." I said.
I took his right hand between mine and brought it close to my lips. Whispering magical words, "Paradis helvete." I didn't move his hand away from my lips as I whispered, "This is so no one can exploit you. You can cast three spells, I hope you use them wisely." Only he heard me this time. When the young man freed his hand from mine and looked at his palm, he saw the words I had whispered there.
When his eyes found mine again, I saw admiration
, gratitude, and astonishment swirling in them. I stepped back, leaving him behind. As soon as I moved away, everyone around the young man reached out to see his hand. Those who were further away whispered among themselves and looked at me.
Finally, someone asked, "Are you really going to be our ruler?"
I smiled. "Not yet."
"Has the purple-hearted princess really approved of you?" The question came from the blond woman who had sown happiness earlier.
"Yes, love and loyalty are with me..." The whispers increased with my answer.
"Has Bilun approved?" I couldn't see who asked.
"We haven't discussed it yet." I replied. Then questions kept coming, and I tried to answer them sincerely, showing them I was on their side. When I returned, I left behind a confused group as well as those who warmed up to me and trusted me.
Standing by Çağın, who was distributing fruits, vegetables, and drinks to the little ones to hand out to the agricultural workers, I whispered, "You were great." He winked, allowing me to breathe easily. Connecting with them felt genuinely good. Maybe that's why Eva had such an influence on the people: rulers detached from their people.
The little ones handed out the provisions to the agricultural workers. Finally, they took what was set aside for themselves and retreated backward, bowing before leaving.
As the people passed by us, they bowed their heads, thanked us, and expressed their gratitude by kissing the hem of my dress. I responded with smiles and gentle pats on their shoulders.
Only one person remained on the soil. My gaze rested on the eyes of the young man who had sown hatred. We were distant, I couldn't read his gaze, but I could see the twinkling movements. We stared at each other without moving for a few minutes. When Çağın touched my shoulder and said, "Let's go now," I didn't take my eyes off the young man. I saluted him when he did the same, then turned and climbed onto the cart.
After a few moments of silence, Çağın, sounding like a proud father thrilled by his child's success, said, "You made me proud today."
"I do things like that now and then..." I waved my hand airily.
"I'm serious, I never thought you'd sow emotions."
"Me neither." I confessed. "It just felt right at the moment, and I did it."
"Honestly..." He began his confession. "At first, I thought your father had made a mistake, and frankly, I still think you're underestimating your weakness, but today I thought there was something to your late father's decision."
He looked over his shoulder and winked, making me smile. Feeling appreciated by someone I valued felt really nice. More satisfying, though, was that I was proud of myself today.
