I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I was so shocked. What did he just say to me? "I love you, my Ceyda. Will you marry me?" I couldn't answer; I was speechless. My eyes were wide open as I stared into Sarp's eyes. While I was worried, fearing what he might do to me for running away, he was proposing to me. He was saying he loved me. For some reason, he had been acting strange since he found me; he seemed worried about me. I wanted to believe him—that he loved me, that his father didn't kill my mother—but I couldn't trust him. What if he was playing with my emotions? I shouldn't let him see that I had feelings for him. "My Ceyda, aren't you going to answer me?" When Sarp started speaking, I put my shock aside and pulled myself together. I averted my eyes from him.
"I don't trust you. What nonsense are you talking? How can I know this isn't part of your game?" "Beautiful," he said, his voice calm and full of affection. He smiled. "There is no game, no lie. There's only you and me, and my love for you." He touched my left cheek with his hand and looked into my eyes. "You love me too; I can feel it. In time, you will trust me. Our marriage is in two days." I suddenly stood up. My heart was pounding wildly. "No, I can't get married," I said anxiously, not knowing what to do with my hands. "Besides, you're saying in two days? What's the rush? I don't even know you. My ID isn't with me. My father is probably looking for us everywhere. Do you think he'll just give me to you?" He took my hands, pulled me towards him, and made me sit next to him. "Shh... Calm down, beautiful. I'm hurrying precisely because I know your father won't give you to me. Otherwise, I would have taken my family and come to ask for your hand properly. Besides, once we're married, the enmity will end too," he said, holding my chin and looking into my eyes. "Do you think I would let go of such a beauty I've found?" His gaze and words embarrassed me greatly; my cheeks were burning. He gently approached and kissed my cheek. "Come on, get some sleep and rest," he said, lifting me up with him. "I know you didn't sleep last night." He was right. Because of him, I couldn't sleep last night from crying; I was very sleepy. When I lay down on the bed, he covered me and left the room. I didn't want to think too much, otherwise I'd go crazy from overthinking. It was best to sleep now. ****** I looked very beautiful in the wedding dress, just like a princess. Smiling, I examined myself in the large full-length mirror. At that moment, a beautiful woman with a sincere smile hugged me from behind. She was very beautiful, with long, wavy brown hair and light hazel eyes, looking very much like me. "Mom," I said.
Smiling, she looked at my reflection in the mirror. "My beautiful girl, you look like a princess," she said. "Mom, you're alive," I said, turning to her. I hugged her, breathing in her wonderful scent. "They told me you died, but you're alive." She took my hands and looked at my face. She was wearing a white dress. She looked like an angel, just like her name. "I didn't die. I was always with you, and I will be with you from now on." She scanned me with her eyes. "You've become such a beautiful bride. Be happy always, my mother," she said. I hugged my mom, breathing in her wonderful scent; I was smiling with happiness. Meanwhile, the door was knocking. The surroundings blurred, and my mother's image began to fade. "Mom, don't go," I said. The door was still knocking. The moment I opened my eyes, a pair of hazel eyes was looking at me up close. For a moment, I couldn't understand what was happening. Sarp and I were lying tangled up in bed together. I quickly pulled myself together and moved away. The door knocked again. "Bro, food is ready." "Okay, Erdem, we're coming," Sarp said. "What are you doing in the bed?" I said. When I remembered how we were just now, my cheeks started burning. "You called me," he said, smiling. "Are you mocking me?" I said, frowning. I was sitting on the bed on my knees. He casually placed his arms behind his head. "I was lying on the couch. You said, 'Come sleep next to me; the couch isn't comfortable,' and I couldn't say no to you, so I innocently lay down next to you." He was teasing me. "I said no such thing. Don't do that again." "You weren't saying that when you were hugging me and breathing in my scent just now. Your face was smiling with happiness; you were quite content." When he spoke like that, I couldn't look at him anymore. I immediately got out of bed and tucked the long hair covering my face behind my ears. "Stop embarrassing me; I was dreaming," I said. "You saw me in your dream, so that's why you hugged and smelled me?" he said, still teasing.
I couldn't deal with him. I quickly went into the bathroom. As I fixed my hair, I examined my face in the mirror. Did he really love me? Then my dream came to mind. My mother's beautiful face smiling at me. I wish I had seen her alive. Was I being unfair to my adoptive mother by thinking like this? Suddenly, my expression fell; I missed my mom. When I came out of the bathroom, Sarp was standing there waiting for me. Ignoring his gaze, I left the room, and he followed me. Erdem had prepared the food on the large table in the living room; this guy really knew about food. There were various dishes. We all sat at the table together. Sarp was sitting opposite me. No matter how reserved I felt, I tried not to show it; I was very hungry. "Sarp, I've taken care of everything. The day after tomorrow, the marriage official and the imam will come to perform your marriage ceremony." After Aytaç said this, the bite I was eating got stuck in my throat. I started coughing. Sarp immediately stood up, patting my back with one hand and trying to give me water with the other. This was the second time today they were choking me; eventually, I'd die by their hands. "Are you better now?" Sarp said. I nodded my head to indicate I was okay. Then he sat back down and looked at Aytaç. "We'll talk about this later," he said. I was eating my food slowly. Was I eating the food, or was it eating me? Was I really getting married the day after tomorrow? Would the man across from me become my husband? After the meal, I went out into the garden, pulled up a chair, and sat down. I wrapped my arms around myself and looked around. Sarp pulled up a chair and sat opposite me. "What are you thinking about?" he said, studying my face. "Are you even asking? Look at the situation you've put me in. I no longer know what to think or how to feel." I was speaking calmly to him because arguing wouldn't help. "One day, I go on vacation with my friends, get lost there, and somehow end up asking for help at the house of my family's enemy, whom I've never met. He then takes me captive and tries to force me to marry him." He was listening to me without blinking. "Why? To take revenge on his enemies, my family. What is my fault in this, tell me? Don't I have feelings? Don't I have pride?" "Beautiful, I know I'm very much at fault," he said, pulling my chair towards him and hugging me tightly. I didn't object; I didn't pull away. Maybe I wanted to take refuge in him. "I promise you, my one and only, I will fix everything. I will make you forgive me. You will see how captivated I am by you, how I fell in love with you. I will wait patiently for you to love me too, beautiful," he said, smelling my hair and kissing my head.
"Can you give me a cigarette?" I said. Smiling, he leaned in and looked at my face. "Your mood seems good," he said. I smiled back at him and leaned back. "Unfortunately, because of you, I've become an addict." He raised his eyebrows, not taking his eyes off me, reached into his back pocket, and took out a pack of cigarettes. He placed one between my lips and lit it. As soon as I took a drag, he took it from my hand and brought it to his own lips. While my mind was processing what he was doing, he offered me another cigarette. "This is sweeter," he said, grinning flirtatiously. "Was I the one making you smile happily in your dream?" "No, it wasn't you," I said, smoking my cigarette. His eyebrows immediately furrowed. "An old boyfriend?" I suppressed the urge to laugh at his question. "Is it that Kaya or something?" "Kaya is one of my closest friends, not my boyfriend." "Well, let me ask this way: was there someone you loved?" "No. I had a boyfriend, but the relationship was short-lived." "So you had a boyfriend? Did you love him a lot? Why did you break up?" When I laughed, his eyebrows furrowed even more. "Who was that bastard?" "I had just turned seventeen; he was three years older than me. He always wanted to be alone with me, to be close to me. You know, like normal couples. I was never the kind of person he wanted. He wanted to go to the cinema; I wanted to go to the football field to play ball like the kids. He wanted to go for dinner alone; I would gather all my friends and we'd go together." He suddenly started laughing heartily, then raised one eyebrow and studied my face. "Did he ever kiss you?" he said. "Why are you asking that?" "What do you mean, why am I asking? You're going to be my wife; I need to know everything about you." "If you're interrogating me like this, then let's not get married. It's not like I'm the one saying let's get married at gunpoint." I tried to get up from where I was sitting, but he held my arms and didn't let me. "I didn't mean to make you angry, beautiful."
I wrapped my arms around myself and looked away. He was interrogating my past as if he wasn't forcing me to marry him. After a moment of silence, my dream came to mind again, and I wanted to tell him about it. "In my dream, I saw my mother, Melek. It felt so real. Even though I've only seen her in photos, I felt like she was always with me. She was talking to me, smiling." As I spoke, I felt like I was living my dream and smiled. "You know, I look a lot like my mother. My hair, my eyes, they're very similar. If, as you say, your father didn't kill her, then who killed my mother? Who ended her life?" "My father didn't kill her, Ceyda, you can be sure of that. In my opinion, the person who killed your mother is someone from inside the house. They poisoned her while she was pregnant with you." Who could it be? We sat for a while longer before going inside. At night, I slept in the bed, and he supposedly slept on the couch, but in the morning, we woke up tangled together again. "You've gotten used to it, huh?" I had shouted, and he was laughing. We didn't leave the house all day. Aytaç and two other guys had gone to the city and shopped for me and Sarp. Even the civil marriage dress I was wearing now was bought by Aytaç. Yes, today is my wedding day. Soon, I will officially be married to Sarp. I had never imagined my wedding day like this. The man I loved was supposed to get my family's consent first, then have an engagement and wedding for me. Like every young girl, I also dreamed of wearing a wedding dress. But unfortunately, dreams and reality aren't the same. I looked at myself in the mirror one last time; Sarp could come in at any moment. My white dress had thick straps and a modest neckline, and its length reached my knees. Underneath, I had simple white high-heeled shoes. Two hairdresser girls had come to do my hair and makeup. I had gotten light makeup done. They had styled my hair in a messy bun with curls. I looked very beautiful. It was a bit much for a home wedding, but no matter how much I didn't want it, Sarp had told the girls to prepare me in the most beautiful way. In my opinion, I could have gone to the ceremony in my pajamas in this situation. My room door was knocked on once and then opened. When I turned around, Sarp was standing in front of me in his black suit, with great magnificence. He was freshly shaved and had carefully combed his dark brown hair. Just as I was scrutinizing him, he was scrutinizing me. An indescribable excitement filled me. After scanning me from head to toe, the corners of his lips curved up. "I didn't fall in love with you for nothing." Putting his hands on his hips, he said, "You are so beautiful." I averted my eyes; he had embarrassed me. "Maybe..." he said, pausing, and then, "You still think I'm marrying you for revenge. You have no idea how you've bewitched me. Until I was twenty-five, no girl ever affected me like this."
I didn't know what to say. Normally, I was always easy-going, but around Sarp, I became a completely different person. He extended his hand and took mine. "Come on, my future wife, let's go. We shouldn't keep the official and the imam waiting." An indescribable excitement filled me; I could almost hear the sound of my own heartbeat. When we entered the living room, we went to the table and sat down. The marriage official performed our civil marriage, with Aytaç as Sarp's witness and Cem as mine. After the civil ceremony, the imam also performed our religious marriage ceremony. I took the marriage certificate, opened it, and looked at the photos of Sarp and me side by side. We were now married. I turned to Sarp; he was watching me, smiling. I couldn't react. It was as if I was inside a dream. He took my hand and helped me stand up. He took my face in both his hands and gently kissed my forehead. "You've made me so happy, my wife. I love you." There was love and affection in his gaze; I think I believed him now. Levent was taking photos during the ceremony and later of all our moments. On the table they had set up in the garden, there were various foods, mezes, and drinks. Everyone was in a good mood. They were eating, drinking their rakı, laughing, and chatting. But inside me, there was an endless war. My mom, my dad, my new family, and my dear friends should have been by my side on this day. This should have been the happiest day of my life. I turned to my right and looked at Sarp. His happiness was reflected in his face and movements; he was talking and smiling. I was seeing him like this for the first time since I met him. He noticed me looking and turned to me. He put his arm around my neck and pulled me close. "Are you okay, beautiful?" he said, kissing my head and looking at my face. "I will do whatever it takes to make you happy, my wife. I will do everything to make you love me, to make you fall in love with me."
The soothing tone of his voice felt good. "Smile a little, my love. Today is our happiest day." His gaze, his eyes, his scent were drawing me to him as I listened. "I know your mind is very confused, but everything will be alright." I smiled, trying to relax. When he saw me smile, he also smiled and hugged me tightly. We stayed like that for a while. "Levent, you have a beautiful voice. Come on, sing a folk song, brother." At Sarp's request, Levent started singing a beautiful folk song. His voice was truly lovely. If it were another time, I would have joined in. When we went up to our room, I immediately went to the wardrobe, took out the red pajama set from among the clothes bought for me, and went into the bathroom. I let my hair down and tried to take off my dress. But I couldn't reach the back zipper of my dress. I tried a few times, but it didn't work. I had no choice but to ask Sarp for help. I came out of the bathroom; Sarp had already changed his clothes. When he saw me still in the dress, he looked at my face in surprise. "Beautiful, why haven't you taken off your dress?" he said. "Well, I can't reach the zipper on my dress. Can you help me?" When I said this, the corners of his lips curved up. "With great pleasure, my wife." When I turned my back, I moved my hair over my left shoulder, and he unzipped my dress. Just as I was about to take a step towards the bathroom in embarrassment, he held me from behind and hugged me. "I can't believe you're my wife, beautiful. You're mine now. I won't force you into anything until you get used to me, just don't run away from me." My cheeks were burning with embarrassment. With a trembling voice, I tried to speak. "Let me go change," I said. When he let me go, I ran towards the bathroom. I changed my clothes. I tied my hair up with an elastic band from my new things. I looked at my reflection in the mirror; my cheeks were rosy, and my eyes were sparkling. I was happy. When I came out of the bathroom, Sarp was lying on the bed waiting for me.
"Come here, beautiful," he said, opening the covers. Without making a sound, I lay down next to him and turned my back. He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me. I fell asleep late, after thinking for a long time about the situation I was in. ****** When I opened my eyes, Sarp's arms were still wrapped around me like an octopus. I tried to free myself from his arms, but I couldn't because he was holding so tightly. The best thing was to wake him up. "Sarp." "Hmmm." "Can you loosen your arms?" I waited. He neither answered nor loosened his arms. "Sarp, can you loosen your arms? You're holding me too tight." "Hmmm." I waited and waited, but he wasn't waking up. I tried with difficulty to turn and look at his face. His eyes were closed, but he was smiling. "So you are awake? You're not letting go on purpose? Let me go." "Honestly, I have no intention of letting go. I'm very comfortable. I don't remember sleeping this peacefully ever, my dear wife." "But I want to get up now. You've made my whole body sore; you're holding too tight." "I'm sorry, my love," he said, loosening his arms while also opening his eyes. "I'll give you a massage; you'll feel fine." "Don't you dare," I said, sitting up. "I don't want any massage or anything." As I said this, he pulled me towards him and hugged me tightly again. "Okay, my beautiful wife, I'm giving you two options. Either I give you a massage, or..." he said, narrowing his eyes. We were tangled up, looking into each other's eyes. "You will tell me if you love me or not?" I didn't know how to answer. Saying I didn't love him would be a lie; saying I loved him embarrassed me. My answer was to nod my head affirmatively. "You love me," he said, smiling. "You love me," his smile widened. Without taking his eyes off mine, he laughed heartily. His laugh made me smile too. He had been in a very good mood for two days. He hugged me tightly, laid my head on his chest, stroked my hair, and kissed it. "Tomorrow we're returning to Istanbul. We'll face your father and tell him we're married."
"He'll be very angry," I said. "Let him be angry, it's a fact: we're married, my Ceyda. Now get dressed and get ready. I'll take you around Bitlis and the surrounding area a bit. I'll have you try büryan. Have you ever had it?" "No, I've heard the name but never eaten it." "Then get ready, let's go. Otherwise, you'll say I took you all the way to Bitlis but didn't let you try the famous büryan dish," he said, laughing beautifully. I put on blue jeans and a white t-shirt and neatly pulled my hair up into a high ponytail. I wore my white sports shoes. Sarp, as always, was dressed in black: black jeans and a black shirt. When we left the house, Aytaç came over to us. "Sarp, what's up? Where are you off to?" "Do I have to account to you, man?" Sarp said, laughing as he answered Aytaç. "God forbid! It's not my place to question you, man." "That's more like it. You don't question the boss." "You're radiating smiles. Do we owe this happiness to the missus?" 'The missus,' he said. Inevitably, my eyebrows furrowed. Cem was standing to the side, watching us and smiling. "Missus, if I embarrassed you, my apologies." "Why would I be embarrassed? Did I do something to be embarrassed about?" I said. "No, don't get angry. Your cheeks just turned a little red, that's why," he said, grinning. "Don't mess with my wife, Aytaç. We're returning to Istanbul tomorrow. Make preparations accordingly." "Finally! I was getting bored. I also think it's time to go." "We're heading out; we'll be back in the evening." "Don't go out alone. Let me come with you, or I'll send one of the guys." "No need. You mind your own business," he said, taking my hand, and we walked towards the car. He seated me in the passenger seat, and as he fastened my seatbelt, his eyes met mine. "You bewitch me, my wife," he said, giving my cheek a big kiss. Then he got in his seat and started the car. "Let me show you around my mother's hometown properly. It's very beautiful here; you'll like it," he said. My heart was also fluttering with excitement and happiness. After a while, Sarp's phone rang; he looked at the screen and answered.
"Yes, Father." While listening to his father, he pulled the car over and stopped. His face suddenly hardened. I wondered what his father was telling him. "Our marriage happened," he said, turning to me with a serious expression. "From now on, no power can take you from me," he said. His furrowed brow and expression scared me. The possibility that he married me for revenge crossed my mind again. What if he makes me fall in love with him and then leaves me? I don't want to believe such a thought. He wouldn't do such a thing, would he?